Born on this day!! Actress Linda Hunt is 74. Actor Sam Anderson (“Lost,” ”ER,” ”Perfect Strangers”) is 72. Singer Emmylou Harris is 72. Actress Pamela Reed is 70. Drummer Dave Robinson of The Cars is 70. Country singer Buddy Jewell is 58. Actor Christopher Meloni (“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit”) is 58. Singer Keren Woodward of Bananarama is 58. Country singer Billy Dean is 57. Actor Clark Gregg (“Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” ”The New Adventures of Old Christine”) is 57. Actress Jana Marie Hupp (“Ed”) is 55. Guitarist Greg Camp (Smash Mouth) is 52. Guitarist Tony Fredianelli of Third Eye Blind is 50. Actress Roselyn Sanchez (TV’s “Grand Hotel,” ”Without a Trace”) is 46. Actor Pedro Pascal (“Game of Thrones”) is 44. Actor Adam Rodriguez (“Criminal Minds,” ”CSI: Miami”) is 44. Actor Michael Fassbender (“Shame,” ”Inglourious Basterds”) is 42. Keyboardist Jesse Carmichael of Maroon 5 is 40. Actress Bethany Joy Galeotti (“One Tree Hill”) is 38. Singer Lee Dewyze (“American Idol”) is 33. Country singer Chris Janson is 33. Actor Drew Van Acker (“Training Day,” ”Pretty Little Liars”) is 33. Actor Jesse Plemons (TV’s “Fargo,” ”Breaking Bad”) is 31.
THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY
1513 – Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon landed in Florida.
1792 – Congress authorized the first U.S. mint, in Philadelphia.
1865 – Confederate president Jefferson Davis and most of his cabinet fled the Confederate capital of Richmond, Va.
1870 – Victoria Claflin Woodhull announced her candidacy for president of the United States.
1917 – President Woodrow Wilson asked Congress to declare war against Germany.
1932 – Charles Lindbergh paid a $50,000 ransom for the return of his kidnapped son.
1982 – Argentina seized the Falkland Islands from Britain
2005 – Pope John Paul II died.
Today Is: Equal Pay Day, International Children’s Book Day, Isra Al Mi’ra, National Ferret Day, National Love Your Produce Manager Day, National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, National Sexual Assault Awareness Day of Action, Reconciliation Day, World Autism Day, World Autism Acceptance Day
TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)
CBS – 8:00 – NCIS / 9:00 – FBI / 10:00 – NCIS: New Orleans
NBC – 8:00 – Ellen’s Game Of Games / 9:00 – This Is Us / 10:00 – The Village
ABC – 8:00 – The Goldbergs / 8:30 – Modern Family / 9:00 – Blackish / 9:30 – Splitting Up Together / 10:00 – The Rookie
FOX – 8:00 – MasterChef Jr / 9:00 – Mental Samurai
CW – 8:00 – The Flash / 9:00 – Roswell New Mexico
Late Night Shows and TV Talk Show Guests
Jimmy Kimmel: Tiffany Haddish, James Taylor
Jimmy Fallon: Sam Rockwell, Kathie Lee Gifford, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Oklahoma!”
Stephen Colbert: Emilia Clarke, Henry Winkler, H.E.R.
Seth Meyers: Issa Rae, Timothy Simons, Rachael Ray, Aaron Comess
James Corden: Zach Braff, Ben Platt
Carson Daly: Jason Isaacs, T. Hardy Morris, Esmé Creed-Miles
Daily Show: Marsai Martin
Conan: Nick Kroll (R 2/7/19)
Watch What Happens Live: Jennifer Lopez (R 2/28/16)
Busy Tonight: Logic
The View: Valerie Jarrett, Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
The Talk: Dominic West
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Tracy Morgan, Chris Sullivan
Ellen DeGeneres: Woody Harrelson, Joey King, Brothers Osborne
Wendy Williams: Katie Couric (R 3/19/19)
The Real: Erika Jayne, Daneliya Tuleshova, guest co-host Yvette Nicole Brown (R 2/12/19)
1 – Dumbo – $45 Million
2 – Us – $33.6 Million
3 – Captain Marvel – $20.5 Million
*Genius Source: www.boxofficemojo.com
New Movies Opening This Week
The Best of Enemies – Civil rights activist Ann Atwater faces off against C.P. Ellis, Exalted Cyclops of the Ku Klux Klan, in 1971 Durham, North Carolina over the issue of school integration. Sam Rockwell, Taraji P. Henson, Wes Bentley, Anne Heche
Pet Sematary (2019) – Dr. Louis Creed and his wife, Rachel, relocate from Boston to rural Maine with their two young children. The couple soon discover a mysterious burial ground hidden deep in the woods near their new home.
Shazam! – We all have a superhero inside us, it just takes a bit of magic to bring it out. In Billy Batson’s case, by shouting out one word – SHAZAM! – this streetwise fourteen-year-old foster kid can turn into the adult superhero Shazam. Zachary Levi, Djimon Hounsou, Michelle Borth, Mark Strong
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!
QUESTION: Is TOM CRUISE a GOD??? Apparently, the CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY thinks so!!! His status has reportedly been elevated to “deity!!!!!!”
QUESTION: Do you live in one of America’s MOST STRESSED-OUT STATES??? Check out this list, and get ready.. it could STRESS YOU OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUESTION: Did tequila MAKE HER TIRES FALL OFF??? She was driving on her rim, and cops found a FULL MARGARITA IN HER CUPHOLDER!!!!!!!!!!
QUESTION: How did CELEBRITIES celebrate April Fool’s Day??? Here’s a list, from fake retirements to FULL-ON FAKE PREGNANCIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUESTION: Can you believe this is the SAME WOMAN??? Would YOU dare to take the “Ugly Face Challenge??” Click through for more pics!!!
Kanye West will be bringing his Sunday Service performance series to the 2019 Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival. The festival confirmed Sunday that he will be taking the stage on Easter Sunday, April 21, at 9 a.m., alongside a video of West announcing his appearance. West’s Sunday Service sessions have featured the rapper using an outside, church-like setting to perform and debut new music. Ariana Grande, Childish Gambino and Tame Impala were previously announced as the headliners for Coachella. The festival will take place over two weeks at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, Calif., from April 12-14 and then April 19-21. West’s wife Kim Kardashian uploaded to Twitter a clip of her husband’s latest Sunday Service where he performed a remixed version of his 2004 hit “Jesus Walks.”
******Trying to get the attention of the Coachella crowd at 9 a.m. on a Sunday morning?? He doesn’t have a prayer!!!
******Those people will be in bed, doing what the bunnies do!!!
*****We give him props for trying!!!
Geri “Ginger Spice” Horner isn’t pleased with everyone believing she had a sexual relationship with Mel B. Her rep slammed Mel B’s claims that they hooked up during their early days in the Spice Girls. “It has been very disappointing to read about all these rumors again, especially on [U.K.] Mother’s Day of all days,” Horner’s rep said in a statement to The Daily Mail. “Geri loves the Spice Girls: Emma, Melanie, Melanie and Victoria [Beckham]. She would like [the fans] to know that what has been reported recently is simply not true and has been very hurtful to her family.” “Moving forward,” the statement continued, “Geri can’t wait to see the girls and all the fans on the tour, have an amazing time with everyone, and make some new memories.” Mel B revealed to Piers Morgan that she and Horner had a one-night stand. “She is going to hate me for this because she is all posh in a country house but it wasn’t a ‘thing.’ It just happened, we just giggled at it and that was it,” she said.
********Mel B’s a little twisted… so she may have thought they were having a “thing” when they weren’t having a “thing!!” It happens!!
*******If she wants us to believe it, she’ll have to produce the video!! We’re waiting!!
******You can delete your social media posts… but a friend with a big mouth?? That’s forever!!!
*****We always thought Sporty Spice was the lesbian!!!
Rolling Stones Mick Jagger is set to have a stent placed in his heart following the band’s tour postponement. “You can be back at work within weeks” following the procedure, a source says. “But it could be because the health checks are all set into the insurance for the tour, maybe they’re being careful” by postponing the tour. The procedure will take place in New York City this week and he is expected to make a full recovery. Sources told the site Jagger is in “extraordinary physical condition.” The band’s North American “No Filter” tour, which was set to kick off in a few weeks, was postponed after Jagger was diagnosed with an undisclosed illness. “Mick has been advised by doctors that he cannot go on tour at this time, as he needs medical treatment,” the Stones said in a statement over the weekend.
********Uh… contrary to this story, it’s a tad more serious than a stent! He’s having a valve replacement.
*****This procedure DOES have a 95% success rate, so we’re sure he’ll be fine!! You know, he’ll still be 75, but….
*****The Stones are so old, they don’t go out on tour… they just kinda wander off!!!
*******WE ASKED who should replace him if he goes!! #1 answer: Steven Tyler!!
Wendy Williams and husband Kevin Hunter may be separating after all. Following last week’s reports claiming that his alleged mistress of nearly a decade, Sharina Hudson, had reportedly given birth to his child, reports say that Williams and Hunter are “carefully looking at what a separation could entail” for them. They’ve been married for 22 years, and their relationship goes far beyond their marriage and son, Kevin Jr., 18: The two are deep in business together as partners in Wendy Williams Productions and co-founders of The Hunter Foundation, which makes a potential split that much more complicated. Hunter is also Williams’ manager. Williams has been living in a sober home on-and-off since coming back from her talk show’s lengthy hiatus earlier this year, and she was reportedly hospitalized after she relapsed last week after finding out about her husband’s alleged mistress’ baby. Insiders claim that it was Hunter who sent his wife to the sober-living facility.
*****Having a baby with another woman is usually the last straw!!
*******Wendy’s gotta come clean about all this!! After all, she’s always putting everyone ELSE on blast!!
******On a positive note, she could be the baby’s godmother!!!
Nipsey Hussle‘s music has soared on Amazon and iTunes in the wake of his fatal shooting, with a lot of his former projects jumping up in position by as much as 500%. His debut studio album, “Victory Lap,” has skyrocketed to the #1 album on Amazon’s Movers & Shakers list … having risen by 504,766%. His album and previous mixtapes actually occupy all four top slots on Amazon’s Movers & Shakers list. “Victory Lap” has also jumped to #2 on Amazon’s overall bestsellers in digital music. Nipsey’s making an impact on iTunes as well — his studio album is ranked second on its album chart, and his mixtape, “Crenshaw,” has climbed to #12 on the list.
********He was well-loved in L.A.!!
Chrissy Teigen took to Twitter over the weekend to discuss her weight. She revealed that she hasn’t lost the weight she gained in her last pregnancy. “‘How do you eat like this?’” the star tweeted. “Basically I am 20 pounds heavier than I was before Miles. He’s 10 months old, I never lost that last bit because I just love food too much. Just coming to terms with my new normal, when I had this certain number for so long!” Teigen and husband John Legend are often on social media showing off their chef skills by preparing delicious meals for themselves and their friends. She also explained what life was like after giving birth to the couple’s first child, Luna, in “The thinnest I’ve ever been was right after Luna. Postpartum depression. I’ll take these pounds and this feeling!” Speaking with Entertainment Tonight after the birth of Luna, Teigen said she used to be glued to the scale. “I was the kind of person that was, you know, pre-baby, I weighed myself like three times a day. I knew how much I weighed at 8 a.m., and I knew how much I supposed to weigh at 1 p.m., and I knew how much I was supposed to weigh at 8 p.m.”
********Hey, if John’s OK with it, so are we!!!
********If Kirstie Alley can stand in your shadow, you’re too fat!!!
Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!
Bethenny Begs To See A-Rod Wed!-(National Enquirer)
Bethenny Frankel loves to talk about how she once dated Alex Rodriguez-and she’s desperate to see him marry Jennifer Lopez! “Bethenny would kill for an invite to get herself and her reality TV cameras into that wedding,” sources said. “Bethenny knows every detail about A-Rod’s romance with Jennifer and would love to be part of that world, instead of hanging out with reality stars. She’s not jealous that Jennifer got her man-she’s jealous that J.Lo got all this press!”
Tay-Tay and Bey Oscar Cat Fight-(Globe)
Rival divas Beyonce and Taylor Swift are gearing up for a catty battle for the Best Song honors at next year’s Oscars. Taylor’s tune is in the upcoming “Cats” flick while Bey mewed a ditty for “The Lion King.” Snitches say Tay-Tay’s already out hustling for the award at events with beau Joe Alwyn, where she’s “shaking hands and hyping ‘Cats,’” notes the source. “But Beyonce’s movie is expected to be the bigger hit here when it comes out this summer. Right now, they’re acting nice as pie to each other-but these two know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it!” Mee-ouch!
Liam & Miley: Brother Knows Best-(Us Weekly)
Liam Hemsworth is in the clear when it comes to Miley Cyrus’ protective older brother, Trace. “I love him,” the Metro Station bassist, 30, says. In fact, when the Aussie actor, 29, started dating his now-wife, Miley, 26, Trace wanted to dislike him, but he couldn’t. “Anytime you have some guy dating your sister, you want to be the big brother, the bully, and hate on him,” he says. “But he’s such a great guy. He’s awesome.”
Hailey’s Insta Ban For the Biebs-(Star)
What Do You Mean? That was Justin Bieber’s reaction, according to sources, when wife Hailey stopped him from going online. “He spends too much time checking his accounts and taking every troll’s comment to heart,” tattles a tattler, adding that his social media obsession is part of the reason the 25-year-old has been depressed. “His whole life revolves around his virtual identity, and he’s lost sight of who he really is.” But, for better or for worse, the model, 22, is standing by his side-even if that means it’s time for some tough love. “Hailey is about to stage an intervention and take away his iPad, iPhone, computers, everything, even the chargers. She can’t stand seeing him this way. This is by far the worst. She’ll do anything to help him.”
Pete & Kate: It’s Serious-(Life & Style)
More than just a hookup! Pete Davidson grabbed dinner with Kate Beckinsale along with her mom, Judy Loe, and stepfather, Roy Battersby, at Nobu in Malibu on March 19, the 40th anniversary of her dad’s death. “It’s extremely telling that Kate decided to spend such a difficult day with Pete by her side,” spills a source close to the 45-year-old British beauty. “She’s also very picky about who she introduces to her mother, so it’s a huge deal that he’s already gotten to meet her.” Despite their staggering age difference and the fact that they’ve only been dating for a few months, Kate and the 25-year-old Saturday Night Live funnyman “have a deep and meaningful relationship,” a source says. “She and Pete have become each other’s support system.”
“Not a dime in my bank account is inherited.”-Kylie Jenner, on being a self-made billionaire.
“She is going to go to Yale on a full football scholarship, and she’s going to major in Photoshopping.”-Ben Stiller, joking about his 16-year-old daughter Ella and the college-admissions scandal.
“He started lessons before me-and we have the same teacher.”-John Legend, on taking swimming lessons at the same time as 10-month-old son, Miles.
Poll of the Week-(In Touch)
Find Love With Vinny & Pauly D: Fist Pump or Fuggedaboutit?-
“Will you accept these bros?” asks Vinny Guadagnino, 31, as he and Paly “Pauly D” DelVecchio, 38, offer up Italian flag-themed roses in the preview for MTV’s Double Shot at Love, in which 20 guidettes will compete to smush with the Jersey Shore stars. “Scrapin’ the bottom of the barrel and calling it ‘entertainment,’” slammed one online commenter. But fans were more enthusiastic, with one calling the guys “soo fun and silly” while another just hoped there are no grenades in the cast: “They both deserve true love.”
POLL RESULTS: 55% say fist pump.
Hasbro Pulls Off April Fool’s Pranks
Yesterday Hasbro announced the termination of our spud-like pal’s contract to make way for his millennial replacement, Mr Avo Head. “It’s no guaccident that the avocado was chosen to replace the carby potato,” reads Hasbro’s statement. “Hasbro has announced that Mr Potato Head will no longer be a star carb character and will be replaced with his soon to be Insta-famous rival, Mr Avo Head.” Apparently Mr Avo Head is a hipster with a top knot and beard. “True to character, the healthy, hipster Mr Avo Head, will sport a man bun and well-groomed beard, trendy sneakers, skinny jeans and will be listening to all the latest beats (which you won’t have heard yet) on his oversized headphones – all removable and interchangeable of course,” reads Hasbro’s statement. “If this is wrong, I don’t want to be ripe!”
*******Of course, social media erupted with OUTRAGE!!! Which made it a perfect prank!!!
******As a bonus, Hasbro has made this new character famous!!!
TOPIC FOR THE AUDIENCE: Did YOU pull off any April Fool’s pranks???
Harry Potter Book With Typos Sells Big
A copy of the first book in the Harry Potter series featuring some rare typos sold for more than $90,000 in a London auction. Auction house Bonhams said the first-edition copy of Harry Potter and Philosopher’s Stone — known in the United States as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone — attracted a high bid of $90,074. The specific edition is popular in the Potter fandom for containing a handful of typos, including misspelling the word “Philosopher” and the repetition of “1 wand” on the list of items the boy wizard needs to obtain for school.
*********If they like misspellings, our boss’s memos are worth a FORTUNE!!!
*****Doesn’t Harry Potter have “magic spellcheck???”
********Why are mistakes always more valuable????
Officers Run Into Burning Home To Save Snake
An Illinois sheriff’s office said two deputies ran into a burning home to rescue an unusual resident — a large snake. The Kankakee County Sheriff’s Office said Deputies Hayden and Zirkle ran into the smoke-filled residence in Bourbonnais early Thursday after being told the pet boa constrictor was still trapped inside. The deputies were able to carry the boa to safety and reunite the beloved pet with its grateful owner. The Bourbonnais Fire Department said the fire was sparked by an aquarium stand inside the home. No injuries to human or snake were reported. See the tweet HERE.
*******If someone told US their pet snake was trapped in a fire, we’d say, “Hmmm… too bad!!”
*******What kind of tile did they have on the floor?? REP-tile!!!
*******You say “boa,” we say “NO-a!!!”
Surfboard Made Out Of Coffee Cups
A New Hampshire man placed second in an innovation contest after fashioning a surfboard out of hundreds of used Dunkin’ Donuts coffee cups. Korey Nolan spent seven months collecting the cups for a competition put on by surf brand Vissla called Creators and Innovators Upcycle Contest. His board’s made out of 700 cups. He also used more than 30 plastic straws and other materials in his board. Most cups came from family members who gave them to Nolan, though some were picked up from the roadside. The top honors went to Titouan La Droitte, who built a board out of 150 aluminum cans.
GREAT SPRING CONTEST!!! “Homemade Bikinis!!” They can be made out of anything but cloth!! Trust us… it’s great.. but don’t try it in a politically correct town!! (That’s probably anywhere)
********Their new slogan should be “The World Floats on Dunkin’!!”
*******This is the solution to the homeless problem!! Houses made of Dunkin’ Donuts cups and aluminum cans!!
Man Uses Tractor To Rob Bank
Police in Mexico say they caught a man who stole a front-end loader, drove it to a local bank, knocked down a wall, chained a safe to the machine and tried to drag it off. Prosecutors in the central state of Morelos say the loader had a front bucket as well as a jackhammer the thieves used to destroy the wall of the bank. They then chained the bank’s safe to the vehicle, apparently to drag it away. They didn’t get far, however. Alerted by reports of the equipment theft, police in the town of Oaxtepec used surveillance cameras to locate the men and detect their noisy, slow-motion robbery attempt early Friday.
********Like a lot of plans, it sounded good in the meeting!!!
********Slow-speed getaways seldom work!!!
*********Suggestion: just break into the safe and take the money!!!
******They’ll have plenty of time to come up with a different plan while they’re in jail!!!
Pig Causes Driver Distraction
A Minnesota sheriff’s office on Friday shared a strange encounter after an officer pulled over a motorist allegedly seen swerving on a highway — and found a pig in the front seat. Chisago County sheriff’s deputy Sgt. Jason Foster responded to a report of someone swerving on Interstate 35, and when he stopped the pickup truck that had been flagged, Foster soon came upon the pig, who was sitting on the driver’s lap, according to FOX9. “It was kind of shocking. He had this 250-pound pig on his lap. In fact, it was leaning against the steering wheel he was muscling the steering wheel to keep it in its lane,” Foster told the station. The driver told Foster he was in the process of moving and didn’t want his pets to get cold in the back of the pickup truck. See the tweet HERE.
*******Caught with a pig in the front seat?? Didn’t that happen to Hugh Grant???
*******Farmers DO get attached to their livestock!!! Maybe TOO attached!!!
*******He was busted for “hogging the road!!!”
STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL
VIDEO: SNOWMOBILE JUMPS OVER ROAD!!
VIDEO: GAME OF THRONES AT THE BELLAGIO WATER FOUNTAINS.
A LIST FOR TUESDAY
Here’s 2019′s list of April Fool’s pranks and hoaxes.
- Spotify turned its “Discover Weekly” custom playlist into “Discocover Weekly,” a playlist of disco covers.
- T-Mobile isn’t disrupting talking on the cell phone by introducing a phone booth.
- Duolingo isn’t going to send a creepy, human-sized version of its mascot to your home to remind you to practice learning a new language.
- Roku isn’t introducing a remote for dogs.
- Stash isn’t introducing an investment app for dogs.
- Glasses USA isn’t teaming up with the makers of the Swiss Army Knife to make a multitool that is also a pair of glasses.
- Halo Top isn’t launching an edible ice cream face mask.
- Club Pilates hasn’t created a balm that lets you skip Pilates and just get good muscles by rubbing it into your skin. They did make a balm though, and mailed it to me. It smells really strong and has CBD in it??
- McDonalds isn’t introducing a milkshake-flavored sauceto dip its various products in.
- Dunkin’s Super Dough Holdersfor drinks look delicious, but is just a prank.
- Lockheed Martin didn’t make a perfume that smells like outer space.
- The new Honda Passport isn’t the “Honda Pastport,” a car completely decked out in 90′s-era technology and decor.
- New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady isn’t retiring.
- You won’t get a chance to read actress Jennifer Garner’s new book, “Bless Your Heart,” because it isn’t real.
- Tinder isn’t introducing a Height Verification Badge.
- This globe company isn’t selling a flat earth globe (“you just place it on its base and watch it do nothing”).
- FreshDirect isn’t selling cauliflower milk called … caulk.
- YouPorn isn’t launching an “anti distraction” app with a NSFW purpose.
- NVIDIA isn’t launching a personal assistant for gamers
- These gender reveal mozzarella sticks aren’t real but someone will probably do this now.
- Reviews.com set out to do a jokey, fake review of slime, and then ended up reviewing slime for real.
- RetailMeNot isn’t starting Dealchella, a festival for hard core coupon fans.
- Sodastream isn’t launching a product to catch burps and turn it into seltzer.
- Walt Disney World’s genius idea of “Snears,” the beautiful marriage of snacks and mouse ear-shaped head gear, is only a cruel joke.
- Burger King is doing something with the “Impossible Whopper” that’s kinda fake kinda real.
- BBC iPlayer isn’t actually adding a button to skip sex scenes.
- Virgin Voyages isn’t introducing private jet transfers for their cruise ships (there’s also a possibility I’m too poor to understand what the joke was in the news release I got about this, please send help).
- Hallmark isn’t launching a wholesome dating app.
- Fatburger isn’t rebranding as “skinnyburger.”
- Popchips isn’t launching a single-serving chip that’s wrapped like a certain kind of contraceptive.
- Build-A-Bear’s new dating app, Build-A-Bae, is, it turns out, only a joke.
- You can’t buy this nutritional supplement that recreates the experience of a Midwestern snow.
- This litter company isn’t selling a mat for your cat that tricks it into napping there instead of on your book or iPad or newspaper (Only True Cat Owners Will Get This).
- Megabus isn’t lunching a vegan bus
- Headphones that use two Cup Noodles cups for the ear pieces? No.
- This straw company isn’t disrupting straws with a thing that belongs in a dentist’s office.
- As usual, Thinkgeek isn’t actually selling a number of very dubious products, including a burned bread toaster by Banksy ($1,370,000.00), Roomby, a Kirby robot vacuum, or a bean bag onesie.
- Hardees isn’t looking to hire a “chief biscuit officer”
- This yardwork apparel company isn’t launching a “dad shoe” for dads who like to mow the lawn in white sneakers
- Tech21 isn’t doing an Emperor’s New Clothes on clear phone cases.
- Jagermeister isn’t making bongs now
- This games company isn’t selling a stupidly expensive arcade-style “office simulator”
- Timex isn’t launching a watch with a new 25th hour on it.
- Robots! aren’t here.
- Landfall games usually launches a fake game every year but this year they actually released a game their fans had been waiting for.
- Startup startup kit? No.
- This still isn’t funny, George Takei.
- Mr. Potato Head’s hipster companion, Mr. Avo Head, is but a Hasbro joke.
- This social media news site published a fake story about seeing someone’s private Instagram that will probably become a copy-paste hoax that people actually believe, oh well.
- Poo-Pourri is now actually selling a scent they came up with for an April Fools’ joke 2 years ago.
- WestJet isn’t launching the FlyreFestival, but they did film a pretty elaborate parody of the Fyre Festival’s now-infamous marketing.
- The weed flavored cottage cheese is fake.
- Red Lobster isn’t going to start using candy for straws.
- Adidas didn’t lose its dang mind and make these trippy ads, they’re a joke made by someone else on “spec.”
- Avocado jokes!
- HelloFresh isn’t introducing a Unicorn Box.
- Webjet isn’t offering a Brexit sale on flights.
- This hotel book company’s press release about how you need a scooter to go room to room if you book a family trip on a competitor’s site because they won’t put you in rooms next to each other is a joke.
- The glasses with wipers for the rain are fake
- Petco is not offering pet wedding services.
- And Wayfair is not offering a registry for pet weddings.
- BMW UK’s Lunar Paint, which charges the vehicle “in the hours of darkness,” isn’t real.
- Dippin’ Dots deodorant is fake
- Maybe you like Seiko watches and Senbei, but combining them remains a dream just beyond reach.
- The NFL’s Chicago Bears aren’t giving all its players three digit jersey numbers to celebrate their 100th season.
- Plated isn’t watching a gourmet food class for dogs so they can cook for their humans
- Alamo Drafthouse isn’t switching to vertical video.
- Captain Morgan did a sports joke
- Hard Kool-beer isn’t coming soon to a Seattle brewery
- Pasta air fresheners aren’t real
- Airpods don’t grow on trees.
- Mineral water popsicles? Fake.
The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo. The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan. The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations. Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
© 2017 – Radio Genius Show Prep