Born on this day!! Singer Vic Dana is 82. Singer Valerie Simpson of Ashford and Simpson is 77. Singer Bob Cowsill of The Cowsills is 73. “60 Minutes” correspondent Bill Whitaker is 71. Bandleader Branford Marsalis is 62. Guitarist Jimmy Olander of Diamond Rio is 61. Actor Chris Burke (“Life Goes On”) is 57. Singer Shirley Manson of Garbage is 56. Guitarist Dan Vickrey of Counting Crows is 56. Drummer Adrian Young of No Doubt is 53. Actor Melissa McCarthy (“Mike and Molly,” ″Gilmore Girls”) is 52. Latin pop singer Thalia is 51. Actor Meredith Eaton (2017′s “MacGyver,” ″Family Law”) is 48. Singer Tyler Connolly of Theory of a Deadman is 47. Actor Mike Colter (“Luke Cage,” “Jessica Jones”) is 46. Actor Macaulay Culkin is 42. Actor Chris Pine (new “Star Trek” movies) is 42. Actor-comedian John Mulaney is 40. Singer Brian Kelley of Florida Georgia Line is 37. Singer-actor Cassie is 36. Actor Evan Ross (“The Hunger Games: Mockingjay”) is 34. Actor Danielle Savre (“Station 19,” ″Heroes”) is 34. Actor Dylan O’Brien (TV’s “Teen Wolf”) is 31. Actor Keke Palmer (“Nope,” “Akeelah and the Bee”) is 29.
THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY
1847 – Liberia was proclaimed an independent republic.
1883 – A massive volcanic eruption on the island of Krakatoa blew up most of the island and resulted in tsunamis that killed over 36,000 people.
1920 – The 19th Amendment giving women the right to vote went into effect.
1939 – The first televised major league baseball game was televised: a double-header between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Cincinnati Reds.
1974 – Aviator Charles Lindbergh, the first man to fly solo, nonstop across the Atlantic, died.
1978 – John Paul I became Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. He died one month later.
Today Is: International Bat Night, National Dog Day, National Toilet Paper Day, National WebMistress Day, Women’s Equality Day
TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)
CBS – 8:00 – Secret Celebrity Renovation / 9:00 – Blue Bloods / 10:00 – Blue Bloods
NBC – 8:00 – America Ninja Warrior / 10:00 – Dateline NBC
ABC – 8:00 – Shark Tank / 9:00 – 2020
FOX – 8:00 – Friday Night Smackdown
CW – 8:00 – Killer Camp / 9:00 – World’s Funniest Animals
TV Talk Shows
Stephen Colbert: Amanda Seyfried, Stephen Merchant (R 7/27/22)
James Corden: Bill Clinton, OneRepublic (R 6/15/22)
The View: Rep. Elaine Luria, Eva Longoria, Olivia Goncalves, Diana Maria Riva, guest co-host Lindsey Granger (R 7/22/22)
The Talk: Vanessa Lachey (R 11/29/21)
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Nick Lachey (R 10/29/21)
Ellen DeGeneres: Kevin Hart (R 2/10/22)
Kelly Clarkson: Ed Sheeran, Max Greenfield, Ben Vereen, Ally Maki, Reba McEntire (R 11/8/21)
Tamron Hall: Arsenio Hall, Kim Fields (R 5/12/22)
Drew Barrymore: Kal Penn, Michael Urie, Eitan Bernath (R 12/3/21)
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!
QUESTION: And how was YOUR day?? This Rhode Island woman drove all the way to work before she noticed the DRUNK, NAKED MAN asleep in her BACK SEAT!!!
QUESTION: Like to go to clubs and check people out?? Not here!! And Australian nightclub BANS “staring at people” unless you get consent!! “Can I look at you???”
QUESTION: Do you understand your own DREAMS?? Like BEING NAKED IN PUBLIC?? THis expert explains what those dreams really MEAN, and why you should know!!
QUESTION: OK, did Meghan Markle’s new Spotify podcast REALLY knock JOE ROGAN out of the #1 spot?? That’s what Spotify says, even as critics call it “Preposterous!”
QUESTION: Can YOU guess who Sir Rod Stewart is imitating onstage?? Two guesses, and the first one DOESN’T COUNT!! “I still love you, Elt!!!!”
Meghan And Harry Adopt Rescue Dog
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have a new family member. They adopted Momma Mia, a 7-year-old beagle rescued from a Virginia breeding and research facility. They reached out to animal rights attorney Shannon Keith of the Beagle Freedom Project after the nonprofit organization took in Momma Mia and eight of her newborn puppies. Federal authorities rescued Momma Mia and 4,000 other beagles from overcrowded and unsanitary conditions from the Envigo breeding and research plant in July. “The duchess is holding Mia and was like, ‘We’re adopting her,'” Keith said. “She was like ‘No, we don’t want a Christmas puppy … We want ones we can help who are older.'”
*******Wait a minute.. there’s a “Beagle Freedom Project??” Like, “Free the Beagles??”
*******That settles it. Meghan is a SAINT!!!
*****That’s the title of her next autobiography: “The Nice Things I’ve Done for Puppies!!”
Nick Cannon Adding A 10th Baby!
Nick Cannon announced that he was expecting his ninth baby, which will be his third with model Brittany Bell. He announced the news Wednesday in an Instagram post, writing, “Time stopped and this happened…” while tagging Bell. The post showed a pregnant Bell, along with Cannon, during a joint pregnancy photoshoot. Also shown off in the video were the pair’s first two children, son Golden Saigon, 5, and daughter Powerful Queen, 19 months. Cannon previously hinted that Bell was pregnant again this past June during an appearance on the R&B podcast Lip Service. When asked about the rumors that he had three children on the way, Cannon said, “What do you mean on the way? Let’s just put it this way, the stork is on the way.” Cannon previously had twins Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir with DJ Abby De La Rosa in June 2021. The next month, he had another child, Zen, with model Alyssa Scott, but he died at the age of five months following a brain cancer diagnosis. 2022 will mark Cannon’s second child, as he celebrated the birth of a baby boy in July with model Bre Tiesi.
****Forget child support!! He’s going broke on Push Presents!!
****He can still count his children on his fingers. But if he has any more, he’ll have to take off his shoes!!
****Since it’s child #10, they’ll just name him “X!”
****He’s going to the doctor to find out what’s causing it!!!
Johnny Depp Will Be The “Moonman” At The VMA’s
Johnny Depp is expected to make a surprise appearance as a Moonman at the 2022 MTV Video Music Awards this weekend, marking another step in his professional comeback since winning his defamation trial against ex-wife Amber Heard. The VMA’s have been in talks with him to dress up as the award program’s Moonman mascot — recently renamed a Moonperson — for the Aug. 28 broadcast. He is no stranger to the cable television network. He has won five MTV Movie Awards, including best comedic performance in “Benny & Joon” and best villain in the musical “Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.” This is the latest development in Depp’s post-trial resurgence. He inked a seven-figure deal with Dior to continue as the face of the French fashion house’s fragrance Sauvage. Depp also has two new movie projects in the works. He’s returning to the big screen to play King Louis XV in the French film “Jeanne Du Barry.” He will also direct his first movie in nearly three decades alongside Al Pacino for the project “Modi,” a film based on the life of Italian-born painter and sculptor Amadeo Modigliani.
*******Will he pull out his “Moon Unit??”
****This is an honor he’ll remember for as long as he can!!!
Ozzy Gives Reason For Not Taking Acid
Ozzy Osbourne revealed he once promised himself to never take acid again after finding himself in an hour-long conversation with a horse in the middle of a field. He said he was left astonished when the horse apparently talked back to him — telling the rocker to “f–k off” at the end of their apparent exchange. “At that time in America, people were very fond of lacing your drinks with acid,” the “War Pigs” singer told the Daily Star. “I didn’t care.” “I used to swallow handfuls of tabs at a time. The end of it came when we got back to England. I took 10 tabs of acid and then went for a walk in a field.” “I ended up standing there talking to this horse for about an hour,” he said. “In the end, the horse turned round and told me to f–k off. That was it for me,” added the rocker, who battled alcohol and drug abuse in the past. Osbourne has been very open about his long history with substance abuse, with the self-described “Prince of Darkness” previously saying he’s been addicted to most drugs throughout his music career.
*******Now he’s just addicted to Metamuci!!!!
******The horse actually said, “I’ll have what you’re having!!!”
Did JLo Fire A Bunch Of Virgos?
“Glee” star Heather Morris claims Jennifer Lopez once cut dancers from auditions for one of her tours over their astrological sign. She alleged on the “Just Sayin’ with Justin Martindale” podcast that JLo walked into the room after a long day of auditions and said, “Thank you so much, you guys have worked so hard. By a show of hands, if there are any Virgos in the room, can you just raise your hand?” Morris claimed Lopez then whispered something to her assistant and told the dancers who were Virgos, “Thank you so much for coming,” revealing they “had to leave after a full day of auditioning for Jennifer Lopez.” When host Justin Martindale asked if the story was true, the “Dancing With the Stars” alum joked the whole thing was “hearsay.” Earlier in the clip, Morris explained just how daunting a dance audition could be to further drive home why Lopez’s alleged reason for cutting people was cringe-worthy. “You’re not getting paid, you’ve been there since 10 a.m. and you’re auditioning until 6 p.m.,” she said. “You’re not getting any money. People judging you the whole time.”
*********Yeah. but some of the guys get to sleep with J Lo, so there’s that!!
QUESTION: Ever audition for something?? Did ya get it???
TOPIC: Does your astrological sign say something about you???
Snoop Dogg Launches YouTube Kids Channel
Snoop Dogg has launched a YouTube channel called “Doggyland — Kids Songs & Nursery Rhymes” aimed to help kids learn social-emotional skills through rap, dance, and song. He partnered with Claude Brooks, as well as singer and songwriter October London to create the series. It features a colorful cast of dogs in a vibrant world where they sing fun and educational songs that teach social, learning and cognitive skills. He will switch gears with his latest project, giving his spin to popular children songs such as “Head Shoulders Knees & Toes” and “Wheels on the Bus.” According to the website, the songs will cover a wide range of engaging topics such as letters, numbers, colors, animals, good habits, hygiene, accepting others and more, along with modern remixes of classic nursery rhymes. “Our music is made by award winning producers and singers resulting in tunes that everyone in the family can enjoy, allowing parents to participate in their child’s learning experience,” according to the site. “The show is centered on a group of puppies led by an adult mentor named Bow Wizzle. Every dog is different in color and shape to help promote diversity and inclusion.” In a press release, Snoop Dogg said: “As a father, grandfather and longtime youth football coach, it’s always been important to me to build positive and educational environments for all children. We wanted to bring our show to YouTube and YouTube Kids which provides free access to everyone, so all the kids can enjoy it.” There are currently four videos uploaded to the channel with new ones to be released every Tuesday.
*********It’s now called “Wheels on the Motherf*cking Bus!!!”
********Would you let Snoop Dogg babysit YOUR kids?? (maybe..)
Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!
Celebrity Side Gig-(Us Weekly)
Jason Mraz-A self-proclaimed “garden geek,” the rocker turned his began lifestyle into a business when he bought a Southern California avocado farm in 2004. “Farming has taught me patience in music,” the musician explained. “Writing a song, letting it grow, nurturing it very much resembles the life of a fruit tree.”
STUPID NEWS
Joey Chestnut Breaks Popcorn Record
Professional eater Joey Chestnut broke a new world record for the sport when he ate 32 servings of popcorn — 24 ounces each — in 8 minutes. Chestnut, famous for his 15 wins in the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest in New York, took on the popcorn eating challenge at Victory Field in Indianapolis before a Minor League Baseball game between the Indianapolis Indians and Rochester Red Wings. He downed 32 of the 24-ounce servings of popcorn in the allotted 8 minutes, beating the record of 28.5 servings, which was set in Las Vegas in 2021. “I’ll be drinking water,” Chestnut told WISH-TV of his strategy ahead of the attempt. “One hand is going to be gripping the right side handful, squeezing it just enough. One chew in my mouth, and a sip of water to chug it down. Maybe a couple of chews toward the end of the contest. My throat’s going to be tired so I’m going to have to chew a little bit more. I might have to drink a bit more water. It’s going to be a battle.”
********He’s an athlete at the peak of his game!!!!
******That’s a lot of fiber, so getting rid of it should be no problem!!!
Kitten Rescued From Dashboard
A Virginia fire department teamed up with animal care and control officers to rescue a kitten that became stuck inside the dashboard of a vehicle. The Richmond Fire Department said in a Facebook post that Engine 17’s A shift crew responded to the Dollar Tree store on Corwardin Avenue on a report of a kitten stuck in the dashboard of a vehicle. The crew removed several panels from the dashboard to allow a Richmond Animal Care and Control officer to reach the trapped cat. The cat was turned over to the vehicle’s owner and the Facebook post said firefighters suggested the kitten be named Audi in honor of the rescue. See the video HERE.
*********”It’s a good thing we rescued him. That snake in your dashboard was about to eat him!!”
Florida Man Gets Revenge During Alligator Attack
A man badly injured in an attack by a 12ft-long alligator in an incident caught by a drone has told Sky News how he grabbed the creature’s teeth, tongue and snout and was “miraculously” able to roll the animal. JC La Verde, 34, said his head and torso ended up in the reptile’s mouth as it bit down on him before he was able to fend it off and get away. Footage showed him unknowingly swimming towards the alligator which was coming in the other direction in Lake Thonotosassa, near Tampa, Florida. His work colleague was filming him at the time over the lake for a promotional video for an adventure race and caught the terrifying attack on camera. Mr La Verde, a firefighter, said: “I was unable to see it (the alligator). I hit it directly with my head. It chopped me on my head, my scapula (shoulder blade), and my upper torso.” He said the impact felt like “hitting a brick wall”.
*********Mankind 1, Alligator 0!!!
Man Suffers From 100 Plus Erections A Day
A woman has spoken out about her unusual sex life, saying her boyfriend has up to 100 erections a day and it is tiring her out. Vikki Brown, 31, and Lucas Martins, 39, met by chance in a UK supermarket queue and since then have enjoyed a passionate relationship. But Vikki says her partner’s erections are so frequent they can happen at any time, such as in a shop or going for a coffee. Lucas even went to a doctor about it, but was told it was not a medical issue. He says he never experienced this before meeting Vikki, and puts it down to her being a ‘goddess’. ‘She only needs to look at me and speak to me and I get hungry for it,’ he said. And she says it is starting to get in the way of her chores and appointments. They both live separately for now in Stoke-on-Trent, so she at least has a respite every now and again. Now Vikki, who met Lucas during lockdown in 2020, wants to know if this is something that other people are also experiencing. ‘Through the whole relationship he’s always had an erection – in shops, restaurants, the gym – there’s no rest from it at all and I just wondered if any other couples are the same,’ she said.
**********Maybe he’s popping Viagra when she’s not looking???
********If he had five penises, his pants would fit like a glove!!
*******She should be grateful.. a lot of women have the opposite effect!!
STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL
VIDEO: TESLA CRASHES INTO CHILD DUMMY IN TEST!
VIDEO: AIRBUS ENGINE CATCHES FIRE FROM MEXICO TO LAX.
A LIST FOR FRIDAY
The Wildest, Most Ridiculous Requests Assistants Have Gotten From Their Bosses
HUFFINGTON POST
The Boss Who Needed Help Wiping Porn From His Computer
“‘My wife is coming in later. Can you order some Kate Spade perfume and get all the porn off my computer?’ Shaking my head.” –– Britt Roberts, then an administrative assistant based in Charlottesville, Virginia
The Boss Who Snapped Instead Of Using Words
“She snapped her fingers when she wanted something. Would shout ‘FOOD!’ from her office, meaning ‘Get me lunch.’ I was in the beginning of my admin career. I’ve come so far, and while that was painful, it made me more sympathetic to admins who struggle with tyrants. –– anonymous executive assistant
The Boss Who Wanted Someone Followed To An Appointment
“[The wildest request was being asked to] follow someone to their appointment to see if they were actually going to a job interview. I was genuinely afraid of this man’s temper, so I couldn’t refuse him. Instead, I pretended to follow the person and lied to him — anything to keep him in a halfway decent mood.” –– anonymous executive assistant
The Boss Who Wanted Help Covering Up An Affair
“It’s not unusual to go shopping for anniversary and birthday and Mother’s Day gifts for the wives, but I would have to go do the shopping for his wife, especially around Valentine’s Day, and he would have to do the shopping for his mistress, and then I would have to give the gifts to both of the people.
It was like, ‘OK, well, what am I going to do?’ We’d come back to the office, we’d swap gifts. I’d overnight the gift for the mistress, and then he would take the gift home for the wife.
One time I was just so upset at what he was doing to his wife that I accidentally on purpose bought these ridiculous, over-the-top expensive chocolates that his mistress loved. It was the middle of the summer and they were going down to a Southern state, so I sent them three-day FedEx. I knew they would arrive melted.” –– D.D., an executive assistant
The Boss Who Banned Morning Greetings
“‘Can you not say good morning to me when I arrive at the office? It causes me to lose my focus.’” –– anonymous executive assistant
The Boss Who Asked His Assistant To Dispose Of A Dead Bird
“A bird flew into the grill on my boss’ car while he was driving to work — it didn’t survive — and once he got into the office, he used my ruler to wedge that poor bird out and asked me to get rid of it and handed me my ruler back.” –– anonymous executive assistant
The Boss Who Wanted Help Scheduling Very Personal Appointments
“When I was working as an EA in consulting, I had an executive who was a very busy partner and she was pregnant. She basically tells me, ‘I feel awkward asking you this, but just wondering if you wouldn’t mind scheduling my OBGYN appointments.’ And honestly, not the oddest request I’ve ever gotten. I didn’t think anything of it. I said sure; I’ve got kids myself, I’m not a stranger to OBGYN appointments. I call the office and we are going through the standard intake forms, but some of the questions that the doctor asks are really, really personal.
It took me so off-guard. I honestly lost my train of thought for a second and didn’t know how to respond to it. One of the intake questions was, for example, ‘How frequent is your sex life?’ I was just like, ‘OK, I wouldn’t know that.’ As she got to question number two, which was like ‘Are your periods regular?’ I was just like, ‘Let me jot down the questions.’
It was very awkward because it’s like, ‘OK, I have to figure out how to get this information from her, or tell her how they need this information. How do I do this?’ Thankfully, I had a check-in the next day. I say, ‘Call the office. These are the questions they were asking me. Heads up: They are very personal.’ So I go for the first question … and she’s like, ‘Hold up, I’ll call them myself and give them the information.’”
–– A.R., an executive assistant
The Boss Who Needed Raw Goat’s Milk Brought To His Private Jet
”[The most ridiculous thing I had to do was] source raw, unpasteurized goat’s milk for his family while they were traveling and having only a couple of hours to find it and have it packed and delivered to the private jet.” –– anonymous executive assistant
The Boss Who Needed $15,000
“‘Hey, can you get $15,000 in cash for my trip to Vegas?’” –– anonymous executive assistant
The Boss Who Demanded Cleaning
“‘Hey, can you clean up the crumbs from my office floor? It was a messy lunch.’” –– anonymous executive assistant
The Boss Who Wanted A Personal Tailor
“[The most ridiculous request was] to sew a hole in his pocket while he was wearing them. He didn’t go change and give his slacks to me; he just wore them and pulled the pocket out for me to sew! If anyone was watching, they’d have called HR for sure! Gotta laugh!” –– anonymous executive assistant
The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo. The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan. The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations. Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
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