Born on this day!! Actor Bonnie Bartlett (“St. Elsewhere,” ″Once and Again”) is 93. Actor James Tolkan (“Back to the Future” films) is 91. Musician Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys is 80. Actor John McCook (“The Bold and the Beautiful”) is 78. Singer Anne Murray is 77. Home repair show host Bob Vila is 76. Classical pianist Andre Watts is 76. Actor Candy Clark (“American Graffiti”) is 75. Singer Lionel Richie is 73. Actor John Goodman is 70. Bassist Michael Anthony (Van Halen, Chickenfoot) is 68. Bassist John Taylor of Duran Duran is 62. Keyboardist Mark degli Antoni (Soul Coughing) is 60. Guitarist Jerome Fontamillas of Switchfoot is 55. Bassist Murphy Karges of Sugar Ray is 55. Actor Nicole Kidman is 55. Singer Dan Tyminski of Alison Krauss and Union Station is 55. Actor Peter Paige (“Queer as Folk”) is 53. Actor Josh Lucas (“Sweet Home Alabama,” ″A Beautiful Mind”) is 51. Bassist Twiggy Ramirez (Marilyn Manson) is 51. Singer Chino Moreno is 49. Singer Amos Lee is 45. Actor Tika Sumpter (“The Have and the Have Nots”) is 42. Drummer Chris Thompson of The Eli Young Band is 42. Singer-actor Alisan Porter (“The Voice,” ″Curly Sue”) is 41. Singer Grace Potter of Grace Potter and the Nocturnals is 39. Keyboardist Chris Dudley of Underoath is 39. Actor Mark Saul (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 37. Actor Dreama Walker (film’s “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” TV’s “Gossip Girl”) is 36. Actor Chris Mintz–Plasse (“Superbad”) is 33. Actor Maria Lark (TV’s “Medium”) is 25.

THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY

1756 – British soldiers were thrown into the cell known as the “Black Hole of Calcutta.”
1782 – The Great Seal of the United States was adopted.
1819 – The 320-ton Savannah became the first steamship to cross the Atlantic.
1837 – Queen Victoria ascended the British throne.
1863 – West Virginia became the 35th state in the United States.
1893 – Lizzie Borden, accused of murdering her parents, was found innocent by a jury in New Bedford, Mass.
1967 – Muhammad Ali was convicted of violating Selective Service laws by refusing to be drafted.

Today Is: American Eagle Day, Flitch of Bacon Day, International Nystagmus Awareness Day, Lambrusco Day, National Hike With A Geek Day, National Kouign Amann Day, Ride To Work Day (Motorcycles), World Productivity Day, World Refugee Day

TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)

CBS – 8:00 – The Neighborhood  /  8:30 – Bob Hearts   /  9:00 – NCIS  /  10:00 – NCIS Hawaii
NBC – 8:00  – America Ninja Warrior  /  10:00 – Weakest Link
ABC – 8:00 – Stanley Cup Finals
FOX – 8:00 –  Don’t Forget The Lyrics  /  9:00 – Beat Shazam
CW – 8:00 –  Roswell, New Mexico  /  9:00 – In The Dark

TV Talk Shows

Jimmy Fallon: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Kristen Bell, Coast Contra
Stephen Colbert: Sen. Cory Booker, the Lumineers
Seth Meyers: Adam Scott, James Murray, Sal Vulcano, Brian Quinn, Ralph Alexander
James Corden: Dave “Lil Dicky” Burd, Giancarlo Esposito, Betty Who
Watch What Happens Live: Ben Stiller, Patricia Arquette, Adam Scott, John Turturro
The Talk: Holly Robinson Peete, Millie Peartree
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Antonio Banderas, Dr. Wendy Bazilian
Ellen DeGeneres: Tracy Morgan, Daniel Ricciardo (R 11/3/21)
Kelly Clarkson: Anna Chlumsky, Cam, Anjelah Johnson-Reyes, Blessing Offor, guest host Jay Leno
Tamron Hall: Gabrielle Union, Hilarie Burton Morgan (R 9/15/21)
Drew Barrymore: Phoebe Robinson (R 10/1/21)

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!

QUESTION: How bad IS it for AMBER HEARD?? She was seen over the weekend SHOPPING AT TJ MAXX!! Oh, the horror!! NOW we feel sorry for her!!!!!!!

 

QUESTION: Do YOU stop at Starbucks for a coffee before shopping? DON’T DO IT!! New study shows that drinking coffee makes you SPEND MORE MONEY!!!

 

QUESTION: Who had the BIGGEST FATHER’S DAY?? The man who’s had more babies with more mamas than any other man in America: NICK CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!

 

QUESTION: Can you STILL make it in America?? This teenager is a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE from a lemonade business she started when was only FOUR!! U.S.A.!!

QUESTION: Did you ever eat a “JENNIFER ANISTON SALAD??” Guess what.. SHE DIDN’T!!! Jen is not really sure WHERE that recipe came from!!???????

Capitol Police Arrest Late Show Staff

U.S. Capitol Police arrested seven staffers from the production team for CBS’ The Late Show with Stephen Colbert who were filming a comic segment with a salty canine puppet.  Police arrested the seven people in a hallway of the Capitol building on Thursday night. Politico confirmed that the seven individuals were staff members with the show.  The network confirmed that the production team for the late night show was detained after recording interviews the same day as one of the Jan. 6 committee hearings.  Renata Luczak, vice president of entertainment communications for CBS, told NBC News that Robert Smigel, the voice behind the canine puppet, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, was on Capitol Hill both Wednesday and Thursday for the comic segment for the show.  “The interviews at the Capitol were authorized and pre-arranged through congressional aides of the members interviewed,” Luzcak said in an email to CBS. “After leaving the members’ office on their last interview of the day, the production team stayed to film stand-ups and other final comedy elements in the halls when they were detained by Capitol Police.  Capitol Police said in a statement on Friday that they received a call around 8:30 p.m. for “a disturbance in the Longworth House Office Building.”
*****Come on.. at least they weren’t wearing Viking hats!!
******This week, they’ll testify that Trump put ’em up to it!!!
*****They can’t be guilty of anything… they’re democrats!!
****Nancy Pelosi has called for the “Late Night Protection Act,” which will surround the capitol with razor wire and Navy Seals!!

Elvis Movie Gets Major Approval

Priscilla Presley says Elvis Presley would approve of the latest film highlighting his life.  In a Good Morning America appearance on Friday, Presley was joined Olivia DeJonge – who plays her in the upcoming movie – to share insight of what its like to see her life on the big screen.  “I’m sitting there watching this movie and going ‘god I wish he could see this,'” she said of Elvis. Presley then shared that he would have loved the new movie, claiming “it was perfection.”   She talked about the moment in the film where she asked her ex-husband to seek help on his “drug dependency” and she said that scene brought back “memories.”  “It was getting more and more frightening as time went by where he just was like, rebelling,” Presley said.  She went on to praise the film’s lead, Austin Butler, on his interpretation of the late musician. “Austin was just unbelievable,” she noted. “As I was watching it, actually, I was going wow, this is a movie that he would have really loved. Showing who he was, what he was striving for, what his dreams were.”
*******If Elvis had eaten more salads, he’d be here to see it!! Just keepin’ it real!!
TOPIC: If they made a movie of YOUR life, who would play YOU??

Wendy Williams Set Tossed

“The Wendy Williams Show” came to an end Friday afternoon, and according to a new report, several set props and keepsakes will simply be tossed in the trash.  “The wigs are still there since she didn’t come and get them so they’re being thrown out,” a source close to production told The Sun, adding that Wendy’s famous “Big Purple Chair” will meet the same fate.  “The chair is just going to be thrown out,” the source said. “Production is not even bothering to try to donate the chair to a museum — like The View did with their original table after 10 years. They gave it to The Smithsonian.”  A rep for “The Wendy Williams Show” did not immediately return our request for comment.  Friday’s finale wrapped up the show after 13 seasons. Guest host Sherri Shepherd wished the talk show host well on-air, as several celebs took over as hosts during the final season due to Williams’ health concerns. Fans, however, were underwhelmed with the show’s exit, as Williams herself was not involved, nor did she make an appearance.
*******Wait.. she wore a WIG???
******Shouldn’t that chair go to the Smithsonian???
*****It kinda feels like they’re throwing WENDY in the trash!!

Kate Bush Enjoying Continued Popularity

Singer Kate Bush continued to take the charts by storm with a song that was last popular 37 years ago.  Bush’s 1985 art-pop tune “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” set three all-time records Friday, thanks to its appearance in the Netflix sci-fi drama series “Stranger Things.”  The song now holds the record for the longest time ever taken for a single to reach No. 1, according to the Official Charts Company.  Bush can now also boast of being the oldest female artist to top the charts.  Additionally, she now holds the record for the longest gap between No. 1 singles. Her song “Wuthering Heights” was a top hit in the UK 44 years ago, when she was 19.  When “Running Up That Hill” was first released, it peaked in the No. 3 position.  “It’s very touching that the song has been so warmly received, especially as it’s being driven by the young fans who love the shows,” Bush said in a statement earlier this month.  It’s not the first time a classic hit recharted after finding renewed appreciation from a recent pop culture moment.  In 2020, Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 song “Dreams” shot the band up to No. 3 on the Billboard charts after a TikTok clip of a man drinking cranberry juice and longboarding while listening to the breezy tune went viral.
********There’s still a chance for “Sugar, Sugar” to chart again!!
*****Kate walked out to her mailbox one morning and said, “Holy crap! Where did this royalty check come from??”

Palace Buried Bullying Claims

A Buckingham Palace investigation into Meghan Markle’s bullying of staffers when she was a working royal has forced changes to the “policies and procedures” of the monarchy’s HR department, sources told the Sunday Times of London. But the findings of the highly sensitive inquiry have been “buried” and will never be released, the sources said — both to protect the participants’ privacy and to tamp down tensions between the Sussexes and the rest of the royal family.  The unprecedented investigation, privately funded by the Queen and led by an independent law firm, began last March after two senior members of the palace staff were said to have been bullied into leaving their jobs working for the Duchess of Sussex.  A third former aide claimed to have been personally “humiliated” by Meghan when she lived at Kensington Palace after her May 2018 wedding to Prince Harry.  “There are some harrowing stories to tell,” a source told the newspaper.  A spokesperson for Markle denied all claims of bullying last year, adding she was “saddened by this latest attack on her character, particularly as someone who has been the target of bullying herself.”
********Staffer: “I’m a victim!!!”
Meghan: “YOU’RE a victim?? NO!! I’M a victim!!”
Staffer: “But I’m a victim of YOU!!”
Meghan: “Yes, but I’m a victim of the WORLD!!”

 

Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!

Chatter-(People)

“If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I might.”-Kim Kardashian, on the lengths to which she’d go to preserve her appearance.

“I’ve gotten word that she knows about me having the handle and she does actually want to come on SNL and confront me on live television.”-Bowen Yang, on Faye Dunaway’s response to his using @fayedunaway as his Instagram handle.

“If you ask my English teacher, any one of them in my entire school career, they would probably tell you that I was the last person that they ever thought would write anything.”-Channing Tatum, on surprising himself by writing children’s books.

 

STUPID NEWS

Bear Breaks Into AirBnB

Guests at a California Airbnb were forced to retreat to their rooms and call for help when an “extremely aggressive bear” entered the residence through an open window.  The California Highway Patrol said personnel stationed in Truckee responded alongside the Placer County Sheriff’s Office when guests at an Airbnb in the Northstar area called for help.  The CHP said officers arrived to find an “extremely aggressive bear” had entered through an open window and the occupants had locked themselves in other rooms to hide from the animal.  The bear “proceeded to destroy the house looking for food,” the CHP said. “The bear charged at officers multiple times until they were able to get it back outside.”  Police found the bear was a mother with three cubs waiting in a tree outside.
*****How could a bear book an Airbnb?? Do they have the Internet now??
*******The three cubs were driving her crazy!! They wanted donuts!! 

Kitten Rescued With Phone Sounds

Authorities in Virginia rescued a kitten from a storm drain using a catch pole and a cellphone that lured the feline out by playing cat sounds.  Petersburg Animal Care and Control officers responded alongside personnel from Petersburg Public Works and the Petersburg Fire Department when a police officer working on a crime scene in the South Jones Street area reported hearing a kitten crying in a storm drain.  Animal Control Officer Jessica Calloway attempted to reach the kitten by climbing down two different manholes, but the kitten was easily spooked and would flee when approached.  The rescuers eventually used a cellphone to play cat sounds that lured the kitten out of hiding to where Calloway could ensnare it with a catch pole.  See the video HERE.
********What number do you dial for cat sounds??? (write your own punchline) 

Headstone Profanity

A headstone at an Iowa cemetery is raising controversy after residents noticed the family had included a hidden profanity in the grave marker’s engraved message.  The family of Steven Paul Owens, who died at age 59 in September 2021, said the hidden message in Owens’ headstone at Warren-Powers Cemetery in rural Polk County is meant as a tribute, not an insult, to their departed relative.  The headstone message reads: “Forever in our hearts, until we meet again, cherished memories, known as our son, brother, father, papa, uncle, friend & cousin.”  The formatting of the type causes the first letter of each line to spell out the message “[expletive] off.”  “It was a term of endearment,” Owens’ daughter told WHO-TV, “If he said that to you, it meant he liked you. If he didn’t like you, he didn’t talk to you.”  The Camp Township Board of Trustees said officials rejected the headstone, but the family had it installed anyway.  The board said in a statement that it does not allow profanity on gravestones because “those others who have a place in the cemetery have the right of decency afforded to them.”  The statement said community members are preparing legal action to have the headstone removed.  “They do not want nor do they appreciate the stone being in the cemetery,” the statement said. “This community will not stop until they have the headstone removed.”  See the video HERE.
********Or… they could just “f*ck off!!”
TOPIC: Funniest thing YOU’VE ever seen on a headstone!!

Florida Man Arrested In Cow Pajamas

A Florida man is trading his cow-print jammies for a jumpsuit after being arrested on drug and ammunition charges earlier this week.   According to the Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office, Richard Anthony Bonnell was one of six people taken into custody when deputies executed a narcotics search warrant at an Okeechobee home on Friday.   Deputies say Bonnell, who was dressed to impress in a black and white pajama set with pink trim and a pink hat, appeared confused when they arrested him for possession of methamphetamine, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon.   Five other people at the home were also arrested on drug-related charges.  See the pic HERE.
*********They should give him back those jammies!! They’re sure to be a hit with his cellmate!!

 

STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL

VIDEO: GUY FILMS TORNADO FOR AS LONG AS HE CAN.

VIDEO: SNAKE SCARES WOMAN ON THE PORCH.

 

A LIST FOR MONDAY

5 No-Brainer Moves to Make if You’re Worried About a Stock Market Crash

HUFFINGTON POST

 

1. Don’t Try to Time Your Way Out

Some people attempt what’s known as market timing, which means they try to cash out their investments before the market crashes. Or they don’t invest when stocks are surging because they think the market is overpriced.

The problem is that even the best minds on Wall Street can’t predict the market’s highs and lows. The stock market could stay hot for a long time. If you avoid investing out of fear or because you’re hoping to buy when the market dips, you could miss out on significant gains. And if you cash out after stocks have already fallen, you’ll lose money or seriously diminish your returns.

A better strategy is to practice dollar-cost averaging, which means you invest a set amount at regular intervals. If you invest in a 401(k) or a similar employer-sponsored retirement account, you’re already doing this since you’re investing money from each paycheck. The same goes for if you automatically invest each month in a Roth IRA or traditional IRA. Over time, dollar-cost averaging tends to produce better returns than trying to time the market.

 

2. Build Your Emergency Fund

An emergency fund is the best investment you can make if you’re worried about a stock market crash. You need a cash cushion in case you’re hit with a big expense or a job loss right after the market has tanked. Otherwise, you may have to dip into your 401(k) or other investments before they’ve had time to recover. If you’re younger than 59 ½, you could also face early withdrawal penalties.

If you don’t have at least a six-month emergency fund, make building one a high priority. Of course, this is a long-term goal that may take years to achieve. But any safety net you’re able to build is a win.

Try to budget at least 10% of your paycheck for emergency savings. If that’s not doable or you want to speed up your progress, taking on a side hustle to build your reserves is a good strategy.

If you’re approaching retirement or you’ve already retired, it’s especially important to make sure you have ample cash reserves. An ill-timed crash can devastate your retirement plans by forcing you to sell investments before they’ve recovered or claim Social Security too early.

Consider meeting with a fee-based financial adviser if you’re retired or plan to retire in the next five years. They can help you determine how much cash you should have on hand and whether you have the right ratio of stocks vs. bonds.

Though retirees typically want a higher concentration of bonds than someone with a decade or more left until retirement, rebalancing after a decline in the stock market isn’t a wise move. If you’re retired and need to withdraw money — to pay for expenses or due to required minimum distributions (RMDs) — you’ll typically want to sell bond holdings instead of stocks to avoid taking substantial losses. After the stock market recovers, you can rebalance your portfolio.

 

3. Limit Individual Stocks to 5% of Your Portfolio

Maintaining a diversified portfolio is essential to weathering a stock market crash. If you invest in stocks of individual companies, try to limit any single investment to no more than 5% of your overall portfolio.

Whenever you invest in stocks, you risk losing money just because the market is down. But the risks of investing in individual stocks are greater compared to investing in index funds that move up and down with the overall stock market. For example, there’s the risk that one industry will be hit especially hard, as occurred with tech stocks during the dot-com crash, and risks specific to a company, like poor management decisions or increased competition.

 

4. Rethink Risky Investments

If you’ve made a lot of money in the past on risky investments like cryptocurrency or penny stocks, think very carefully before investing more. There’s nothing wrong with investing a small amount of money in a high-risk investment, provided that you have adequate savings and you don’t have high-interest debt. But these investments are way more volatile than the overall stock market, so your losses could be especially steep.

 

5. Decide Now if You Want to Invest More

A stock market crash can be a great opportunity to invest more if you have the stomach for it. Provided that you have a solid emergency fund and you’re investing for retirement, you could set aside extra money to invest when the stock market crashes.

Because it’s natural to panic when stocks nosedive, make a plan now. For example, you could decide that you’ll invest $X extra if the S&P 500 index falls below 3,500. Or if there’s a stock you want to buy, you could decide that you’ll buy it if the price drops below a certain level.

This may seem counterintuitive to what we said about not trying to time the market. To be clear, saving money to invest when stock dips is a strategy you should use only if you’re already dollar-cost averaging by investing for retirement. But if your finances are in good shape and it fits with your risk tolerance, it’s OK to prepare for some bargain hunting next time stocks crash.

 

What Should You Do When the Market Crashes?

Probably nothing. A stock market crash is panic-inducing, but it’s best not to make major decisions about money from a place of fear. Keep investing in your 401(k) after a crash unless your financial situation has drastically changed. Avoid checking your account daily.

It’s never pleasant to see your net worth nosedive. But if you don’t sell your investments at a loss, you really haven’t lost money. With time and patience, your finances will eventually recover.

 

The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo.  The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan.  The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations.  Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
© 2022 – Radio Genius Show Prep