Born on this day!! Jazz drummer Roy Haynes is 98. Songwriter Mike Stoller is 90. Singer-songwriter Neil Sedaka is 84. Singer Candi Staton is 83. Actor William H. Macy is 73. Comedian Robin Duke is 69. Actor Dana Delaney (“Body of Proof” ″China Beach”) is 67. Bassist Adam Clayton of U2 is 63. Jazz trumpeter Terence Blanchard is 61. Drummer Matt McDonough of Mudvayne is 54. Actor Annabeth Gish (“The West Wing,” ″The X-Files”) is 52. Actor Tracy Wells (“Mr. Belvedere”) is 52. Rapper Common is 51. Rapper Khujo of Goodie Mob is 51. Singer Glenn Lewis is 48. Actor Danny Masterson (“That ’70s Show”) is 47. Musicians Natalie and Nicole Albino of Nina Sky are 39. Actor Noel Fisher (“Shameless”) is 39. Actor Emile Hirsch (“Into the Wild”) is 38.
THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY
1852 – “Uncle Sam” cartoon appeared for the first time in N.Y. Lantern weekly.
1639 – Cambridge College was renamed Harvard University.
1781 – The German-born English astronomer Sir William Herschel discovered the planet Georgium Sidus, later known as Uranus.
1868 – The Senate began President Andrew Johnson’s impeachment trial.
1906 – Suffragist Susan B. Anthony died.
1925 – Tennessee passed a bill prohibiting the teaching of evolution in public schools.
1930 – Clyde W. Tombaugh announced the discovery of the planet Pluto.
1972 – Britain and China resumed full diplomatic relations after 22 years; Britain withdrew its consulate from Taiwan.
1996 – A man shot dead 16 children and a woman teacher in a school in Dunblane, Scotland. He then shot himself.
2012 – The Encyclopedia Britannica discontinued its print edition after 244 years.
Today Is: Donald Duck Day, Earmuffs Day, Fill Our Staplers Day, Good Samaritan Involvement Day, Itra-Uterine Growth Awareness Restriction (IUGAR) Day, K-9 Veterans Day, Ken Day (Doll), L. Ron Hubbard Day, Napping Day, National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day, Smart & Sexy Day
TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)
CBS – 8:00 – The Neighborhood / 8:30 – Bob Heart Abishola / 9:00 – NCIS / 10:00 – NCIS Hawaii
NBC – 8:00 – The Voice / 10:00 – Quantum Leap
ABC – 8:00 – The Bachelor / 10:00 – The Good Doctor
FOX – 8:00 – 911 / 9:00 – Farmer Wants A Wife
CW – 8:00 – All American / 9:00 – All American Homecoming
TV Talk Shows
Jimmy Kimmel: Owen Wilson
Jimmy Fallon: Bob Odenkirk, Paris Hilton, Collin Morikawa, Asake
Stephen Colbert: Christina Ricci, Jen Psaki, Robert Glasper featuring Yebba
Seth Meyers: John Oliver, Nic Collins
James Corden: Sam Claflin, Sarah Michelle Gellar
Watch What Happens Live: Amanda Batula, Rachel Lindsay
Daily Show: Guest host Kal Penn
The Talk: Tara Lipinski, Chloe Kim, Alyssa Thompson, Lindsey Vonn, Nischelle Turner
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Live’s After Oscar Show
Kelly Clarkson: DJ Cassidy, Chance the Rapper, Angie Martinez
Tamron Hall: Rickey Smiley, Russell Hornsby
Jennifer Hudson: Jay Shetty, Michael Urie, Dean Lewis
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!
QUESTION: Did you notice the SONG LYRIC in “Everything, Everywhere..??” “Your clothes never wear as well the day day, you hair never falls quite the same way..” Can you NAME THAT TUNE??
QUESTION: Are YOU guilty of “SUI??” That means “SHOPPING UNDER THE INFLUENCE,” and Millennials are the prime offenders!! Drunk shopping on the web totaled $14 BILLION in the year 2022!!
QUESTION: Is THIS the guy who can SAVE AMERICA?? He’s calling from PRISON, and JOE EXOTIC says not only is he INNOCENT, he’s announcing his candidacy for PRESIDENT!! Whoo.. ey!!
QUESTION: How many steps does it take to burn off YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Here’s the list, here’s the chart, and now ask yourself: Is this going to change the way you EAT?? We didn’t think so!!!
QUESTION: Do the RICH get RICHER?? What do YOU think?? Brad Pitt made a lot of money last night, providing the champagne for the Oscars at a mere $310 A BOTTLE from his French vineyard!!!
Razzie Awards
The Marilyn Monroe biopic, Blonde, was named the Worst Picture of 2022 when Razzie Awards “winners” were announced early Saturday. The film also was presented with the prize for Worst Screenplay. Vampire movie Morbius co-stars Jared Leto and Adria Arjona scored the Razzies for Worst Actor and Worst Supporting Actress respectively. Tom Hanks picked up the Worst Supporting Actor trophy for the music-themed Elvis, then won an additional Razzie for Worst Screen Combo for himself and his “latex-laden face,” a nod to the prosthetics he wore to play Elvis Presley’s manager, Col. Tom Parker. Disney’s live-action Pinocchio, which also starred Hanks, was voted Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel, and Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun shared the Worst Director distinction for Good Mourning. The Razzies committee said it also gave itself a Razzie after it was roundly lambasted for nominating child actress Ryan Kiera for Worst Actress for her performance in Firestarter. “After their blunder of nominating someone who should not have been considered, the organization was put through the cyberworld blender,” the Razzies organizers said in a press release. “They publicly apologized to the actress, changed the rules for anyone under 18, rescinded the nomination and put themselves in her place on the ballot — and won by a landslide.”
*********It’s sad when the Razzies are far more credible than the Oscars!!!
*******Tom Hanks almost ruined the Elvis movie… even with a great performance by Austin Butler!!!
*****We also like the Razzies because they’re not hosted by Jimmy Kimmel!!!!
****The best way to help people get better is to alert them when they miss the mark. So the Razzies are a public service!!
Lisa Marie’s Ex Wants To Represent Twin Daughters
Lisa Marie Presley’s ex Michael Lockwood is seeking to represent their twin daughters in an upcoming hearing for her trust. He asked a judge earlier this week to appoint him guardian ad litem over Harper and Finley, giving him the authority to speak on behalf of the 14-year-olds, according to court documents. The next hearing is scheduled for April 13. Prior to Presley’s death in January, she and Lockwood had been at odds since she filed for divorce in 2016 after 10 years of marriage. The following year, their daughters ended up in state custody for unknown reasons. Presley alleged at the time that Lockwood had child pornography on his computer, which his lawyers denied. Then, in 2018, Presley requested primary custody of Harper and Finley, but after the 2020 suicide of her son, Benjamin Keough, Lockwood asked for custody, fearing that her son’s death would cause Presley to relapse. Lisa Marie’s cause of death remains unknown, but sources previously said she was reportedly taking opioids and weight-loss medication leading up to her passing. Since she died, her mother, Priscilla Presley, and her oldest daughter, Riley Keough, have been battling it out over the late singer’s will and estate.
********And Elvis is up in Heaven, “Crying in the Chapel!!!”
Seth Rogen Says No Kids Helped Him Become Successful
Seth Rogen says that he’s happier because he doesn’t have kids. The revelation came in a new episode of Steven Bartlett’s The Diary of a CEO podcast, where Rogen discussed his and his wife, Lauren Miller’s decision to not have children. “That has helped me succeed as well, definitely,” Rogen said, per Page Six. He elaborated by saying that he’s able to, instead, focus on his relationship and his career since “there’s a whole huge thing I’m not doing, which is raising children.” Rogen and Miller got married in 2011 after dating for seven years. They decided together that they would rather “do whatever we want” than have kids—something that people often told Rogen he had to do in order to be happy with his spouse. “Some people want kids. Some people don’t want kids,” Rogen said. “Honestly, you just are told, you go through life, you get married, you have kids. That’s what happens. And me and my wife, neither of us were like that. Honestly, the older we get, the more happy and reaffirmed we are with our choice to not have kids.” “We are in the prime of our lives,” he continued. “We are smarter than we’ve ever been, we understand ourselves more than we ever have, we have the capacity to achieve a level of work and a level of communication and care for one another, and a lifestyle we can live with one another, that we’ve never been able to live before.”
*****It’s not just Seth!! The WORLD is better because he had no kids!!
******Although… his kids would have been a goldmine for therapists!!!
*****At least he’ll leave the world with some artistic masterpieces, like “Sausage Party” and “Zack and Mira Make a Porno!!!”
******His tombstone will read, “He Lived a Selfish Life and Felt Really Good About Himself!!”
Prince Andrew Hasn’t Received Any Inheritance From The Queen
Prince Andrew is upset because he hasn’t received a penny of his mother’s massive fortune, according to reports. Queen Elizabeth was believed to have left an estate worth more than $782 million, all of it going to her son, King Charles, for tax reasons, The UK Sun reported. If the money is given “monarch to monarch,” Charles can avoid paying taxes on it, but the move also means his siblings — Prince Edward, 59, Andrew, 63; Princess Anne, 72, and — haven’t gotten any of the cash. But unlike Princess Anne and Prince Edward, who are still working royals, the disgraced Andrew has no formal role in royal life and no income after the Queen stripped him of his military and royal titles in the wake of his involvement in the Jeffrey Epstein scandal. “He’s in despair. He’s a member of the family, for God’s sake,” a friend told The Sun. Word of Andrew’s “bewilderment” at being cut out of his mother’s money comes just a day after it emerged that Charles, 74, refused to sign off on Andrew’s $38,000 bill for a live-in Indian guru, The Sun reported.
******He DID inherit her stubby fingers!!!
****Andrew’s “live-in guru” turned out to be a 16-year-old girl from New York!! (just guessing)
******If you can’t sit on your butt and get paid, you’re not a Royal!!!
Oscar Goodie Bag
Every Oscar nominee left Sunday’s awards show with quite the swag bag. Los Angeles-based Distinctive Assets, an entertainment marketing company, is tasked with creating the legendary “Everyone Wins” Nominee Gift Bag. “I don’t overthink it,” says Lash Fary, the founder and president of Distinctive Assets. “I don’t wonder, ‘Is Cate Blanchett really going to want X, Y and Z?’ I just kind of think: ‘Would I like it and would I give it as a gift?'” The stars will find some big splurges in this swag bag, like an Italian vacation on the island of Ischia. “You know, everyone wants to go on an Italian vacation now because of ‘The White Lotus,'” Fary laughs. “This is a lighthouse converted into a luxury hotel.” There’s also a plot of land in Australia. The bag is stashed with many of Fary’s favorite things. This year, his “absolute favorite” is a gilded box of dates from a company called Bateel. “They have done for dates what Godiva did for chocolate,” Fary says. There are chocolates in the swag bag too with a video message inside the box. Each swag bag is worth $126,000.
*********Of course you have to DECLARE THAT ON YOUR TAXES!! (cough, cough)
*****Many of the stars are asking themselves, do I really need ANOTHER Italian vacation?? Oh, alright… I’ll take it!!!
Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!
Madonna Finally Faces the Music-(Globe)
Freaky-faced Madonna, 64, finally copped to monkeying with her mug by sharing a new photo on social media and crowing, “Look how cute I am now that swelling from surgery has gone down. LOL.” The post follows the Material Girl’s shocking appearance onstage at the Grammy’s, which left horrified fans asking: Who’s that girl? One online critic delivered a biting remark: “Madonna looks good for her age-if her age is 2,700-year-old vampire who eats babies and small animals alive.” Whoa!
STUPID NEWS
Human Hand Found During Walk
A human hand spotted by a dog walker this week in a wooded area of New York City’s Staten Island belonged to a woman who was buried at a nearby cemetery, police said Saturday. Police announced they had solved the mystery of the hand, which was spotted by a dog walker in the North Mount Loretto State Forest on Thursday. The resident noticed the hand when his dog started sniffing the ground in the area. He contacted police, who deployed cadaver dogs to search the forest but were unable to find any other human remains. Using fingerprint analysis, the hand was identified as belonging to a woman who died in 2011 at the age of 63 and was buried at Staten Island’s Resurrection Cemetery, police say. According to an NYPD spokesperson, authorities believe the hand was somehow separated from the woman’s body when the gravesite alongside hers was excavated for reburial on Feb. 27.
*********Oops!!!
*******You have to hand it to her!! Her hand, that is!!!
****** The corpse gave them a “thumbs up!!
92 Year Old Weather Watcher
A 92-year-old Maine woman is marking nearly 65 years of serving as a weather watcher for the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration. Arlene Cole of Newcastle said she took the position over from a friend who died and she has been tracking the weather for NOAA ever since. Her letter from NOAA certifying her as a weather observer arrived nearly 65 years ago, she said. NOAA relies on more than 7,000 volunteers across the country to track and report weather conditions. “I’ve always been interested in the weather,” Cole told WGME-TV. “I grew up on a farm, and farm weather is very important.” Cole said she measures and reports weather conditions every day at 5 p.m. “At first, I visited the outdoor station every day, but now I can read the information from my kitchen counter,” she told the Maine government last year. “I have two rain gauges, two white boards, a 24 inch measuring stick marked in tenths and a stake that can be inserted into the ground each fall so that numbers 1-60, an inch apart, can be read.”
********Meanwhile, we’ve spent billion$ putting satellites up that can’t see a damned thing!!!
*******With women like her on the job, there’s no way a hurricane is gonna sneak up on us!!
Cocaine Cat Found
An African serval cat that was found with cocaine in its system after an escape at a traffic stop now calls the Cincinnati Zoo home, much to the delight of social media users still amused by the recent release of the movie “Cocaine Bear.” The wild cat’s story has trended online, where users relished in the absurdity of the horror comedy, which riffs off the true story of a 175-pound black bear that was found dead near a duffle bag and some $2 million worth of cocaine. Social media users have predictably dubbed the serval “cocaine cat.” It made its escape after its owner was pulled over by police on Jan. 28, according to local animal control officials. It leapt from the car into a tree. Ray Anderson of Cincinnati Animal CARE said that local animal control, Hamilton County Dog Wardens, were called around 2 a.m. in the residential Oakley neighborhood. In Ohio, it is illegal to own the animals, which can weigh up to 40 pounds. During the rescue mission, the cat named Amiry broke its leg and became more agitated. Once Amiry was taken in for medical care by Cincinnati Animal CARE, the team ran a drug test in which they determined that Amiry had cocaine in his system.
*********They look ferocious, but they’re pretty calm, until they get into the cocaine!!
Berlin To Let You Swim Topless
Women in Berlin will soon be allowed to go topless at the city’s public swimming pools, like men, the Berlin state government said Thursday. The new bathing rules allowing everyone to go swimming without covering their torsos followed a discrimination complaint by a woman who was not allowed to go topless in a swimming pool in the capital. The woman, whose identity was not revealed, had turned to the senate’s ombudsperson’s office for equal treatment to demand that women, like men, can swim topless, the Berlin senate for justice, diversity and anti-discrimination said in a written statement. In reaction to the complaint and the ombudsman’s involvement in the case, the Berliner Baederbetriebe, which runs the city’s public pools, decided to change its clothing rules, the statement said. “The ombudsperson’s office very much welcomes the decision of the Baederbetriebe, because it establishes equal rights for all Berliners, whether male, female or non-binary, and because it also creates legal certainty for the staff at the Baederbetriebe,” said Doris Liebscher, the head of the ombudsperson’s office.
*******In Germany, the men have larger breasts than the women!!! (whatever a woman is)
STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL
VIDEO: GOLDEN RETRIEVERS GO NUTS FOR DINNER!
VIDEO: HERE’S HOW BAD THE SNOW FELL IN THE MOUNTAINS ABOVE LOS ANGELES.
A LIST FOR MONDAY
THE FULL OSCARS WINNERS LIST!!!!
BEST PICTURE
“Everything Everywhere All at Once”
BEST ACTRESS
Michelle Yeoh, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
BEST ACTOR
Brendan Fraser, “The Whale”
BEST DIRECTOR
Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
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Ke Huy Quan, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Jamie Lee Curtis, “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
BEST INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Germany
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
“Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio”
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE FILM
“Navalny”
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
“Everything Everywhere All at Once,” written by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
“Women Talking,” screenplay by Sarah Polley
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Volker Bertelmann
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
“Naatu Naatu,” from “RRR,” music by M.M. Keeravaani; lyrics by Chandrabose
CINEMATOGRAPHY
“All Quiet On The Western Front,” James Friend
VISUAL EFFECTS
“Avatar: The Way of Water”
SOUND
“Top Gun: Maverick”
FILM EDITING
“Everything Everywhere All at Once”
PRODUCTION DESIGN
“All Quiet On The Western Front”
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COSTUME DESIGN
“Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” Ruth Carter
MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
“The Whale”
DOCUMENTARY SHORT FILM
“The Elephant Whisperers”
SHORT FILM, LIVE ACTION
“An Irish Goodbye”
SHORT FILM, ANIMATED
“The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse”
The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo. The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan. The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations. Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
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