Born on this day!! Musician Herbie Hancock is 82. Musician John Kay of Steppenwolf is 78. Actor Ed O’Neill (“Modern Family,” ″Married… With Children”) is 76. Actor Dan Lauria (“The Wonder Years”) is 75. Talk show host David Letterman is 75. Singer J.D. Nicholas of The Commodores is 70. Singer Pat Travers is 68. Actor Andy Garcia is 66. Country singer Vince Gill is 65. TV personality J Alexander (“America’s Next Top Model”) is 64. Guitarist Will Sergeant of Echo and the Bunnymen is 64. Singer Art Alexakis of Everclear is 60. Singer Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls is 58. Actor Alicia Coppola (TV’s “Jericho,” film’s “National Treasure: Book of Secrets”) is 54. Singer Nicholas Hexum of 311 is 52. Actor Retta (“Good Girls,” ″Parks and Recreation”) is 52. Actor Nicholas Brendon (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) is 51. Actor Shannen Doherty is 51. Actor Marley Shelton (“Pleasantville”) is 48. Actor Sarah Jane Morris (“NCIS”) is 45. Bassist Guy Berryman of Coldplay is 44. Actor Riley Smith (“Nashville”) is 44. Actor Claire Danes is 43. Actor Jennifer Morrison (“Once Upon a Time,” ″House”) is 43. Actor Matt McGorry (“How To Get Away With Murder,” ″Orange Is the New Black”) is 36. Actor Brooklyn Decker (“Grace and Frankie”) is 35. Drummer Joe Rickard of Red is 35. Singer-guitarist Brendon Urie of Panic at the Disco is 35. Actor Saoirse Ronan is 28.
THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY
1861 – The Civil War began when Fort Sumter was attacked.
1862 – James J. Andrews led the raiding party that stole the Confederate locomotive “The General,” inspiring the 1926 Buster Keaton movie.
1945 – President Franklin Roosevelt died.
1955 – The polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk was called “safe, effective, and potent.”
1961 – Soviet cosmonaut Yuri A. Gagarin became the first human in space and also the first human to orbit the earth in a spacecraft.
1981 – The first space shuttle, Columbia, took its first test flight.
1983 – Harold Washington was elected Chicago’s first African-American mayor.
1999 – Arkansas federal judge Susan Webber Wright found President Clinton in contempt of court for lying about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
Today Is: Belmont-Paul Women’s Equality Monument Day, Big Wind Day, Free Cone Day (Ben & Jerrys), Identity Management Day, International Day of Human Space Flight, International Day for Street Children, National D.E.A.R. Day, National Be Kind To Lawyers Day, National Education and Sharing Day, National For Twelves Day, National Licorice Day, Walk on Your Wild Side Day, Yuri’s Night
TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)
CBS – 8:00 – FBI / 9:00 – FBI International / 10:00 – FBI Most Wanted
NBC – 8:00 – Young Rock / 8:30 – Mr. Mayor / 9:00 – This Is Us / 10:00 – The Thing About Pam
ABC – 8:00 – Judge Steve Harvey / 9:00 – Abbot Elementary / 9:30 – Blackish / 10:00 – To Tell The Truth
FOX – 8:00 – Resident / 9:00 – Name That Tune
CW – 8:00 – Superman and Lois / 9:00 – Naomi
TV Talk Shows
Jimmy Kimmel: Gillian Anderson, Janelle James, Maxwell
Jimmy Fallon: Amy Schumer, Denis Villeneuve, Christina Tosi (R 3/16/22)
Stephen Colbert: Molly Shannon, Rep. Cori Bush
Seth Meyers: Leslie Jones, Topher Grace, Brad Meltzer, Todd Sucherman (R 3/8/22)
James Corden: Annette Bening, Dave Franco, the Linda Lindas (R 2/2/22)
Watch What Happens Live: Julia Haart, Jennifer Aydin
The View: Valerie Biden Owens, Ginger Zee, guest co-host Alyssa Farah Griffin
The Talk: Pre-empted
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Dylan McDermott, Robin Roberts
Ellen DeGeneres: Mark Wahlberg, Lucius
Wendy Williams: Kim Fields, guest host Bill Bellamy (R 11/16/21)
The Real: Macy Gray
Kelly Clarkson: Ted Danson, Natasha Rothwell, Ben Rector
Tamron Hall: Robin Roberts, Lala Kent
Drew Barrymore: Alison Brie, Clea Shearer & Joanna Teplin
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!
QUESTION: He doesn’t sound so liberal NOW, does he? Starbucks CEO Howard Schulz tells unionizing worker: “How about a big cup of ‘Go Work Somewhere Else???'”
QUESTION: Could YOU live off the land if there was no alternative? TWO THIRDS of Americans say, “Yes, I could!” Uh.. who are THEY kidding?? A little overconfident??
QUESTION: Worried about those WRINKLES on your FOREHEAD? Instead of Botox, try TAPING YOUR FOREHEAD!! This Tik Tok’er swears it REALLY WORKS!! Check the proof!!
QUESTION: Wanna be a juror in the JOHNNY DEPP/AMBER HEARD trial?? You’ll have to reveal how much you know about the couple!! One juror: “She’s PSYCHOTIC!!!”
QUESTION: Remember that $55 MILLION pad that J Lo and Ben Affleck were buying in Bel-Air?? That deal just “fell out of escrow!” Hmm… trouble in paradise???????
Charles and Camilla To Visit Canada
Prince Charles and his wife Camilla will visit Canada next month as part of Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee celebration, royal officials said Monday. Clarence House, the royal couple’s official residence, said that the pair will visit Newfoundland and Labrador, Ottawa and the Northwest Territories in May. Details of the trip will be announced at a later time, they said. The visit next month will be the couple’s first return to Canada since 2017. The Platinum Jubilee celebrates the queen’s 70th year as British monarch. A specific itinerary for the three-day trip will be released at a later date, by the Canadian Department of Heritage. The trip will be the 19th to Canada for Prince Charles and the fifth for the duchess of Cornwall. During the couple’s last visit five years ago, they visited Nunavut, Ontario and Quebec.
********First, Camilla had to help him find it on a map!!
******He skipped around the palace and said, “Let’s go check on the beavers!!!”
*****The Queen looked up and said, “Canada? Do we still own that??”
******Camilla’s excited!! She got a new horse blanket, just for the trip!! It looks great on her!!
ARod Trolled By Co-Host During Yankees Game
In the ninth inning of a 4-3 game Sunday Night Baseball between the Yankees and Red Sox, Michael Kay delivered some subtle humor about co-host Alex Rodriguez’s love life. “It’s a great time in sports,” Kay began. “We have a new Masters champion. The NBA playoffs are about to start. Baseball in full swing. People getting engaged! It’s a happy time in the world.” Kay, of course, was referring to the engagement of Ben Affleck and Rodriguez’s former fiancée, Jennifer Lopez. Affleck proposed with a green diamond ring that reportedly is worth between $5 and $10 million. For his part, A-Rod took the joke in stride. “Uh, happiness and world peace is what we’re looking for,” he said through laughter. See the video HERE.
*******A green diamond?? Couldn’t he get a fresh one?? Sounds moldy!!
******If you’re getting engaged to J Lo, you gotta go all-in on the ring!! You’re being compared the seven engagement rings that came before!!
*****A Rod just filed that news under “Bullets I’ve Dodged!!”
Billy Ray Cyrus Heading For Divorce
Tish Cyrus filed for divorce from Billy Ray Cyrus after more than 28 years of marriage. People confirmed the news and said Tish filed for divorce Wednesday in Williamson County, Tenn. In court documents, she cited “irreconcilable differences” for the split. She also said she and Billy Ray Cyrus have not lived together in more than two years. Billy Ray previously filed for divorce in 2010 but withdrew his petition for divorce months later. Tish Cyrus filed for divorce in June 2013 but reconciled with Billy Ray Cyrus shortly after. “We both woke up and realized we love each other and decided we want to stay together,” the pair said in a joint statement in July 2013. “We both went into couples therapy, something we haven’t done in 22 years of being together, and it’s brought us closer together and really opened up our communication in amazing ways.” Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus have three children together: singer and actress Miley Cyrus, 29, Braison Cyrus, 27, and Noah Cyrus, 22. Billy Ray Cyrus also has a son, Christopher, 30, from a previous relationship, while Tish Cyrus has two other children, Brandi, 34, and Trace, 33.
*****Hang on, J Lo!! Before you commit to Ben.. Bill Ray is available!!
*****We hope the divorce doesn’t screw up their kids!! Ohh.. too late??
Al Pacino Is Dating Mick Jagger’s Ex
Al Pacino grabbed dinner with Mick Jagger’s ex-girlfriend Noor Alfallah in Venice, Calif., Saturday night. They were spotted leaving in the same car together after dining at the Italian eatery. Both Pacino, 81, and Alfallah, 28, went with all-black ensembles for the outing. While the two were spotted leaving together, it appears their date wasn’t necessarily a romantic candlelit dinner for two. Pacino and Alfallah were joined by other friends – including Jason Momoa and Julian Schnabel for dinner after some of them enjoyed the artist’s “For Esmé – with Love and Squalor” exhibit at Pace Gallery. “amazing night @pacegallery Julian Schnabel’s -for ESME’ with Love and Squalor,” Momoa captioned a group pic shared to Instagram, in which Pacino and Alfallah can be seen sitting next to each other. “So thankful to enjoy dinner with legends. all my aloha j.” Pacino’s outing with Alfallah marks the first time he’s sparked romance rumors with someone since splitting from his ex-girlfriend of two years, Meital Dohan, in early 2020.
****Let’s face it: no matter who you’re dating, she COULD be Mick Jagger’s ex!!
*******He had a girlfriend of two years.. and let’s face it, that’s just way too young!!
Kim and Pete Talked Way Before She Hosted SNL
Kim Kardashian revealed she talked to now-boyfriend Pete Davidson before making her “Saturday Night Live” debut. During the premiere episode of Hulu’s “The Kardashians,” she shares she agreed to host the sketch comedy series and says she asked Pete for advice when they met at the Met Gala in September 2021. “I ran into Pete Davidson at the Met and I was like, ‘I am so scared. I don’t know what I signed up for,’” she recalls. “And he’s like, ‘Can you read cue cards? You’re good. You’re good.’” She hosted the NBC show on Oct. 9 and appeared in a skit with Davidson in which he played Aladdin and she was his character’s love interest, Jasmine. In the sketch, the pair kissed, which she recently admitted on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” was their first smooch. “The Kardashians” premieres April 14 on Hulu.
********Kim’s got along list of men she’s “talked to!!” She’s got the next six boyfriends lined up already!!
*****The only people she doesn’t talk to are her kids!!!
Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!
“Black-ish” Star Anderson Off-ish With Wife-Again
“Black-ish” actor Anthony Anderson’s 22-year marriage with college sweetheart Alvina Stewart, 51, has hit the rocks-again. Court documents show Stewart filed for divorce from the “Law & Order” alum, also 51, for a second time due to “irreconcilable differences” nearly six years after pulling her first petition. The soon-to-be exes share two adult children, Nathan, 22, and Kyra, 26.
STUPID NEWS
Horse Rides Commuter Train
Railway officials in India said they are investigating a viral video that appears to show a horse riding on a commuter train. The video, which spread quickly across social media, appears to show a horse riding on a crowded Sealdah-Diamond Harbour Down local train in West Bengal. Posts online indicate the horse was accompanied by its owner and had run a race in Baruipur earlier in the day. Eastern Railway officials said they have launched an investigation into the video. It was unclear whether horses are specifically banned from riding Eastern Railway trains.
*********There was barely enough room with all the cows and rats!!!
*****Prince Charles is following this story with great interest, since he’d like to take a train trip with Camilla!!
TOPIC: Weirdest thing you’ve seen on public transit!!
New Wearable Air Purifier
Dyson has announced its most unusual product yet; a wearable air purifier with a pair of noise-cancelling headphones built in. An initial reveal of the Zone headphones – the first headphones Dyson has released – doesn’t come with many specifics about cost or battery life, nor how much the headset weighs. But the company says that after more than six years in development the device has moved from being something with a snorkel-like mouthpiece and a backpack to the gadget unveiled – with a release aimed before the end of this year. Dyson said it started having internal conversations in 2016 about developing some kind of “purification on the move” technology, based on its existing air purification technology. During initial trials in the smoggy city of Beijing the company struck upon the idea of integrating noise-cancelling headphones. Doing this also meant the company was able to design the headset so the air filters could be placed in the earcups, minimizing some of the unusual bulkiness in previous prototypes.
*******Can you fit it over your butt??
*******So… you can’t hear and you can’t smell!! Sounds like a recipe for trouble!!
Florida Man Caught Masturbating On Flight
A Florida man was arrested Sunday for allegedly masturbating and showing his penis to a passenger during a flight from Newark to Boston on Friday, the Massachusetts U.S. Attorney’s Office announced. Donald Edward Robinson of Bonita Springs, Florida, was charged with one count of lewd, indecent, and obscene acts while in the special aircraft jurisdiction of the U.S. Shortly after taking off, the U.S. Attorney’s Office said, the victim, a 21-year-old woman who was seated next to Robinson during the flight, recorded a 24-second video of Robinson allegedly fondling and manipulating his penis through his pants. A short time later, the victim alleges, she looked over and saw that Robinson had exposed his penis. Approximately five minutes before landing, Robinson allegedly put his hand on the victim’s thigh. The victim then asked why he was touching her, and he withdrew his hand. The victim got the attention of another passenger by showing a message on her phone that read: “Hi, this man assaulted me and touched my leg and is masturbating.”
*********Maybe he was just born that way!!!??
******How does she know he’s a man?? Is she biologist??
****BTW, the man was 74 years old!! Ewww!!!
Woman Uses Cat As A Weapon
A St. Petersburg woman was arrested for domestic battery after she allegedly scratched her girlfriend in the face with the couple’s cat, according to an affidavit. Police said things escalated after Susan Freudenthal, 53, and her girlfriend got into an argument at a home in Largo. According to the report, Freudenthal took their cat, held it up to her girlfriend’s face and “swore on the animal’s life that she was not cheating.” The animal was in distress and scratched her girlfriend, the affidavit said. The woman had multiple lacerations on her face, according to the report. Police went to the home and arrested Freudenthal for domestic battery. “Upon taking the defendant into custody, she said that she was the true victim,” the affidavit said. “The defendant was polite and compliant.”
*********There’s a pussy joke in there someplace, but we can’t find it!!
****Now we have a new category: Florida WOMEN!!
STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL
VIDEO: ANNUAL WIFE CARRYING CONTEST.
VIDEO: KID SCREAMS DURING LIVE NEWS REPORT… REPORTER HAS THE GREATEST COMEBACK.
A LIST FOR TUESDAY
7 Places That Will Pay You to Move There
THE PENNY HOARDER
- Tulsa, Oklahoma
Oklahoma’s second largest city is offering to pay remote workers $10,000 cash to relocate there through its Tulsa Remote program.
You’ll get $10,000 upfront cash with the purchase of a home. And they’ll throw in a desk at a coworking space so you don’t have to work out there on the plain all by your lonesome.
The only requirements are that you must be 18 years old, work remotely or are self-employed outside of Oklahoma, and, you know, want to live in Tulsa.
Click here for the application.
- Lincoln, Kansas
Here’s a Kansas town offering free land to qualified inhabitants. According to its website, you’ll be able to see the buffalo roam from your home on the range, should you take them up on their offer.
You’ll have to comply with the city’s requirements for building and inhabiting a home within set time parameters. Contact Lincoln City Hall for full details.
- Curtis, Nebraska
How’d you like to build your dream home — without spending a dime on the land itself?
It’s possible in Curtis, Nebraska.
Construct a home in Curtis within a set amount of time (and according to certain specifications), and you’ll receive the land free. All of the lots come utility ready and are located on paved streets.
And in Curtis, it’s the more the merrier — and more lucrative. The family incentive program awards $500 for the first kid, $750 for two and $1,000 for three more children who move to the city and enroll in the Medicine Valley Public Schools.
- New Richland, Minnesota
Life’s simpler in the Midwest — especially when you can get land for free.
If you build a home within a year of receiving the land’s deed, your new property in New Richland’s Homestake subdivision will be 100% free of charge.
Plus, the town’s in proximity to a golf course, lake and bike trails.
- Harmony, Minnesota
Want to move to the “Biggest Little Town in Southern Minnesota”?
The town of Harmony will provide home-builders a cash rebate of up to $12,000 to cover costs of construction — and the program has zero age, income or residency restrictions.
- Baltimore, Maryland
Ready to give a little love to an underloved property — and get paid for it?
Baltimore’s Vacants to Value Booster incentive gives $10,000 to buyers of Vacants to Value properties in an effort to address the blight caused by abandonment in the area. The home must be your primary residence, and you must be willing to invest at least $1,000 of your own resources. Also, the $10,000 must go toward your down payment and closing costs.
If that’s not enough reason to move to Old Bay country, the city also has a Buying Into Baltimore program that offers a $5,000 incentive to use toward buying a home anywhere in Baltimore. You must attend a Trolley Tour event to be eligible; 20 individuals are selected on a lottery basis.
Still not convinced? We have two words for you: crab cakes.
Bonus: Anywhere in Alaska
Why limit yourself to just one city when Alaska will pay you to live anywhere in their state?
Since 1976, Alaska has paid its residents to live there via its Permanent Fund Dividend. The payouts are funded by Alaska’s oil royalties and are divided up evenly among citizens.
Yearly payouts vary, but the 2021 dividend was $1,114. Not too shabby just for being there!
To be eligible for the rebate, you must not claim residency in any other state or country. Check out the full details here.
The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo. The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan. The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations. Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
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