Born on this day!! Comedian-director Mel Brooks is 96. Comedian John Byner is 85. Bassist Dave Knights of Procol Harum is 77. Actor Bruce Davison (“X-Men”) is 76. Actor Kathy Bates is 74. Actor Alice Krige is 68. Jazz singer Tierney Sutton is 59. Actor Jessica Hecht (“Friends,” ″The Single Guy”) is 57. Guitarist-violinist Saul Davies of James is 57. Actor Mary Stuart Masterson is 56. Actor John Cusack is 56. Actor Gil Bellows (“Ally McBeal”) is 55. Actor-songwriter Danielle Brisebois (“All in the Family”) is 53. Actor Tichina Arnold (“Everybody Hates Chris”) is 53. Jazz saxophonist Jimmy Sommers is 53. Actor Steve Burton (“The Young and the Restless”) is 52. Bassist Tim Nordwind of OK Go is 46. Bassist Mark Stoermer of The Killers is 45. Singer and former “American Idol” contestant Kellie Pickler is 36.
THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY
1836 – The fourth president of the United States, James Madison, died at Montpelier, his Virginia estate.
1894 – Labor Day became a federal holiday by an act of Congress.
1914 – Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary and his wife were assassinated, setting off World War I.
1919 – The Treaty of Versailles was signed in France, ending World War I.
1978 – The Supreme Court ruled in Regents of the University of California v. Bakke that the use of quotas in affirmative action programs was not permissible.
1996 – The Citadel, the Military College of South Carolina, voted to admit women.
1997 – Boxer Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield’s ear during their heavyweight title fight, earning a 16-month suspension.
2000 – Elian Gonzalez was returned to his father in Cuba.
2001 – Serbia handed over Slobodan Milosevic over to the UN war crimes tribunal.
2004 – In Iraq, the United States transferred power back to the Iraqis two days earlier than planned.
Today Is: International Body Piercing Day, INTERNATIONAL CAP LOCKS DAY, International Lightning Safety Day, National Columnists Day, National Logistics Day, International Parrot Head Day, Tau Day
TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)
CBS – 8:00 – FBI / 9:00 – FBI International / 10:00 – FBI Most Wanted
NBC – 8:00 – America’s Got Talent / 10:00 – Dancing With Myself
ABC – 8:00 – Stanley Cup Finals
FOX – 8:00 – Crime Scene Kitchen / 9:00 – I Can See Your Voice
CW – 8:00 – Superman and Lois / 9:00 – Tom Swift
TV Talk Shows
Jimmy Fallon: Steve Carell, Maya Hawke, GIVĒON
Stephen Colbert: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Jimmie Allen
Seth Meyers: Wanda Sykes, Kesha, Patrick Radden Keefe, Jonathan Ulman
James Corden: Vin Diesel, Ed Sheeran, Maisie Peters
Watch What Happens Live: Dorinda Medley, Brandi Glanville
The View: Sherri Shepherd, Bowen Yang, Matt Rogers
The Talk: Joel Kim Booster
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Jennifer Lopez, Yumna Jawad, Kim Raver
Ellen DeGeneres: Salma Hayek, Måneskin (R 11/8/21)
Kelly Clarkson: The Black Fairy Godmother
Tamron Hall: Porsha Williams (R 11/30/21)
Drew Barrymore: 50 Cent, Elizabeth & Ethan Finkelstein (R 10/5/21)
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!
QUESTION: Is this a THING?? Brides are starting a new trend: They’re taking their MOM’S wedding dress and restyling it for their very own BIG DAY!!!!!!!!!!!
QUESTION: Uh, oh… are Harry and Meghan getting ready for ROUND TWO WITH OPRAH?? They’re seen making a call on their neighbor!!! Brace yourself!!!!!
QUESTION: Were they DRONES?? Or UFO’s?? Sailors confirm that their ships were swarmed by over 100 ALIEN CRAFT, and they stayed for HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!
QUESTION: What’s so ugly, it’s LOVEABLE?? The winner of this year’s UGLIEST DOG CONTEST!! Mr. Happy Face may be the UGLIEST winner we’ve ever seen!!
QUESTION: Why were COPS waiting for this guy when his flight landed?? Because he airdropped a picture of his PENIS to everyone on the flight!!! Skeevy to the max!!
Alec Baldwin has announced he will interview Woody Allen on Instagram Live Today (Tuesday). “Let me preface this by stating that I have ZERO INTEREST in anyone’s judgments and sanctimonious posts here,” Baldwin wrote on Instagram Sunday. “I am OBVIOUSLY someone who has my own set of beliefs and COULD NOT CARE LESS about anyone else’s speculation. If you believe that a trial should be conducted by way of an HBO documentary, that’s your issue.vMEANWHILE!!!IG LIVE.This Tuesday.10:30 am.With……Woody Allen. Join us.” Both actors recently have been staying out of the spotlight because of their respective scandals. Baldwin and Allen collaborated on 2012’s To Rome with Love and 2013’s Blue Jasmine.
********Two peas in a pod?? Not really!! Alec is a bully. Woody is a pervert!!!
****We’ll check it out to see whether he calls Woody a rude, thoughtless little pig!!!
******Woody just celebrated “Take your daughter to bed day!!:
Bam Margera has gone missing from a rehab facility in Florida for the second time in two weeks. He was last seen in the area around Life Skills residential facility in Deerfield Beach, Fla., on Saturday at 5:30 p.m., a Broward County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson says. The public information officer says Margera was “wearing a black shirt, black sweatpants and black sneakers” at the time. “Anyone with information on his whereabouts should contact BSO Detective Chris Blankenship at 954-321-4268 or the BSO non-emergency number at 954-764-HELP (4357).” In recent months, Margera has been staying at rehab centers following a court order. Earlier this month he was reported missing for the first time after leaving a rehab facility in Delray Beach, Fla., without authorization on June 13. He allegedly told the facility’s manager of his plans to exit the premises and check into a different rehab center, but cops could not locate him. Then, on June 15, Margera was found safe while hiding out in a Florida hotel room.
*********His next “life skills” center could be the one with iron bars!!!
Johnny Depp is rumored to be getting paid more than $300 million to return to “Pirates of the Caribbean,” after getting unceremoniously dumped from the franchise in 2018 amid abuse allegations by ex Amber Heard. A source close to Disney allegedly dropped the bombshell in a new interview with Aussie outlet Poptopic. “The deal is reportedly for Johnny Depp to return as Jack Sparrow,” the little leaking birdie claimed to the Down Under entertainment website. He had played the role in five Pirates movies over the last 19 years, before Disney dropped him from the sixth and final installment in the wake of Heard’s 2018 Washington Post op-ed which Depp claimed defamed him as a domestic abuser. This reportedly caused the “Edward Scissorhands” icon to lose out on a $22.5 million payday. “Disney are very interested in patching up their relationship with Johnny Depp,” the source alleged to Poptopic. “They reached out to the actor prior to his defamation trial against Amber Heard and asked whether he would be interested in returning for another ‘Pirates’ film or two.” Meanwhile, the rumored comeback deal, which is allegedly worth a cool $301 million, would reportedly see Depp “return as Jack Sparrow in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean 6’ and a spin-off Disney+ series about the early life of the Captain of the Black Pearl,” per the source. “What I can tell you is that the studio has already penned up a draft for a film about Jack Sparrow, so they are very hopeful that Johnny will forgive them and return as his iconic character,” the source claimed.
**********The story is that Johnny wouldn’t do it for $300 million.. so they added an extra million!!
*****HE won’t be shopping at TJ Maxx!!!
*******Amber Heard is returning to the movies as well… she’ll be selling popcorn at the AMC!!!!
Ben Affleck’s 10-year-old son, Samuel, got behind the wheel of a Lamborghini SUV and hit a BMW. He was at a luxury car rental dealership with his dad and Jennifer Lopez in Los Angeles on Sunday when he received permission to get in the driver’s seat of the Lambo, which starts at $230,000 for a 2022 model. Samuel put the yellow Urus in reverse, backing into the parked white vehicle. He immediately exited, checking on both cars. His dad did the same, comforting his youngest child with a hug. Neither the Lamborghini nor the BMW retained damage, a spokesperson for Affleck told TMZ. An employee at the rental company, 777 Exotics, says that they would welcome the father-son pair back to their business and “hope” they return. “When [Samuel] got into the car, it jerked back and forth,” the employee explained. “We have a small lot, and the cars are close. Everybody was OK! They seemed happy and continued to browse.”
******He apparently got into his dad’s stash!!
******”I remember when I crashed MY dad’s Lambo..” said no one.
Carol Burnett will appear as a guest star on the drama “Better Call Saul” in Season 6. Burnett will appear as a character named Marion, it was announced Monday. She joins the previously announced Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, who will appear as guests to reprise their “Breaking Bad” roles of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman on “Better Call Saul,” which is a spin-off of “Breaking Bad.” “I’m thrilled to be a part of my favorite show,” Burnett said in a statement. The series is set to begin airing the second half of their sixth and final season on AMC and AMC+ beginning July 11. The series finale is scheduled to air on August 15th.
*****She’s so old, she tugged her ear.. and it came off!!
Christian Bale says he would play Bruce Wayne/Batman for a fourth time on the big screen. There’s just one stipulation: Christopher Nolan must direct. He recently told ScreenRant that he’d put on the cape once more as long as Nolan’s back in the director’s chair. Nolan directed Bale in three Batman movies, with “The Dark Knight” and “The Dark Knight Rises” both grossing over $1 billion at the worldwide box office. “No. No one’s ever mentioned it to me. No one’s brought it up,” Bale said when asked about reprising Batman. “Occasionally people say to me, ‘Oh, I hear you were approached and offered all this.” And I’m like, ‘That’s news to me. No one’s ever said that.’” “I had a pact with Chris Nolan,” Bale added. “We said, ‘Hey, look. Let’s make three films, if we’re lucky enough to get to do that. And then let’s walk away. Let’s not linger too long.’ In my mind, it would be something if Chris Nolan ever said to himself, ‘You know what, I’ve got another story to tell.’ And if he wished to tell that story with me, I’d be in.”
********Actually, Christian got fired when he was badmouthed by Amber Heard!!!
*****What happened to the pasty-faced English dude??
Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!
Tom’s Tipping Point: Kelly Was Too Tall!-(National Enquirer)
Here’s the long and the short of why Kelly McGillis, who played Tom Cruise’s love interest in 1986’s “Top Gun,” wasn’t asked back for the new sequel-she towers over him! “She’s 5-foot-11 and he’s 5-foot-7,” snarks an insider. “During filming we used apple boxes and shoe lifts for Tom so he could look her in the eye.” Jennifer Connelly, who is Tom’s height, plays his new honey in “Top Gun: Maverick.”
Sesame Oil Highway
Emergency responders and public employees responded to a road in New Jersey when a truck spilled up to 150 gallons of tahini sesame oil into a roadway. The Newton Fire Department said in a Facebook post that crews responded alongside the Newton Police Department, Sussex County HazMat and Newton Department of Public Works when a truck carrying tahini — an oil condiment made from crushed sesame seeds — leaked onto a roadway. The post said firefighters kept the oil from flowing into a storm drain and contained the spill until a cleanup crew arrived on the scene. Emergency responders estimated 140-150 gallons of tahini spilled from the truck.
********We thought Tahini Oil was Olive Oil’s sister!!
*****Is that”oil” you got??
Mystery Miniature House
Parks officials in San Francisco said they do not know who installed the latest attraction in Golden Gate Park: a miniature house placed atop a 30-foot-tall tree stump. The miniature model of a Victorian home has been drawing its own visitors to the southern entrance of Golden Gate Park and officials said they first noticed the diminutive dwelling about six weeks ago. The blue and yellow house bears a handwritten message on the side: “Where there is hatred, let us sow love.” San Francisco Recreation & Parks officials said they do not know the origins of the art installation. “As far as we can tell, it appeared about six weeks ago without explanation,” parks spokeswoman Tamara Aparton told SFGate. Recreation & Parks General Manager Phil Ginsburg said he has instructed his staff not to remove the tiny house.
*********Wait’ll they see the miniature alien family living in it!!
****San Francisco has weirdos just like Florida.. except a little more high class!!
NASA’s Strange Request
NASA wants its moon dust and cockroaches back. The space agency has asked Boston-based RR Auction to halt the sale of moon dust collected during the 1969 Apollo 11 mission that had subsequently been fed to cockroaches during an experiment to determine if the lunar rock contained any sort of pathogen that posed a threat to terrestrial life. The material, a NASA lawyer said in a letter to the auctioneer, still belongs to the federal government. The material from the experiment, including a vial with about 40 milligrams of moon dust and three cockroach carcasses, was expected to sell for at least $400,000, but has been pulled from the auction block, RR said Thursday. “All Apollo samples, as stipulated in this collection of items, belong to NASA and no person, university, or other entity has ever been given permission to keep them after analysis, destruction, or other use for any purpose, especially for sale or individual display,” said NASA’s letter dated June 15. It went on: “We are requesting that you no longer facilitate the sale of any and all items containing the Apollo 11 Lunar Soil Experiment (the cockroaches, slides, and post-destructive testing specimen) by immediately stopping the bidding process,” NASA wrote.
*********The only thing they proved is that cockroaches will eat ANYTHING!!
*****They should at least give their little bodies a burial in space!!
Florida Man Exposes Himself At The Dollar Tree
A Florida man was arrested Wednesday after he allegedly exposed himself in a Dollar Tree, according to Pinellas County deputies. The sheriff’s office said that Juan Roman, 46, was found performing a sex act on himself in the aisle of the Dollar Tree on Gulf Boulevard. The incident was captured on surveillance cameras, an affidavit said. Roman tried to leave the store where he was confronted by law enforcement outside. Deputies booked Roman into the Pinellas County Jail on a lewd or lascivious exhibition charge.
********Of course he did!! It’s Florida!!
STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL
VIDEO: ANGELS AND MARINERS FIGHT!
A LIST FOR TUESDAY
5 Ways to Prepare for a Stock Market Crash
THE PENNY HOARDER
The problem is that many people don’t start thinking about how to prepare for a stock market crash until after the market has already crashed. That’s not exactly helpful advice when we’re already in a bear market. But no one knows how much further stocks may drop.
You can still take action now to mitigate the damage later. In many situations, though, the best action plan will be to wait things out.
- Don’t Try to Time Your Way Out
Some people attempt what’s known as market timing, which means they try to cash out their investments before the market crashes. Or they don’t invest when stocks are surging because they think the market is overpriced.
The problem is that even the best minds on Wall Street can’t predict the market’s highs and lows. The stock market could stay hot for a long time. If you avoid investing out of fear or because you’re hoping to buy when the market dips, you could miss out on significant gains. And if you cash out after stocks have already fallen, you’ll lose money or seriously diminish your returns.
A better strategy is to practice dollar-cost averaging, which means you invest a set amount at regular intervals. If you invest in a 401(k) or a similar employer-sponsored retirement account, you’re already doing this since you’re investing money from each paycheck. The same goes for if you automatically invest each month in a Roth IRA or traditional IRA. Over time, dollar-cost averaging tends to produce better returns than trying to time the market.
- Build Your Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is the best investment you can make if you’re worried about a stock market crash. You need a cash cushion in case you’re hit with a big expense or a job loss right after the market has tanked. Otherwise, you may have to dip into your 401(k) or other investments before they’ve had time to recover. If you’re younger than 59 ½, you could also face early withdrawal penalties.
If you don’t have at least a six-month emergency fund, make building one a high priority. Of course, this is a long-term goal that may take years to achieve. But any safety net you’re able to build is a win.
Try to budget at least 10% of your paycheck for emergency savings. If that’s not doable or you want to speed up your progress, taking on a side hustle to build your reserves is a good strategy.
If you’re approaching retirement or you’ve already retired, it’s especially important to make sure you have ample cash reserves. An ill-timed crash can devastate your retirement plans by forcing you to sell investments before they’ve recovered or claim Social Security too early.
Consider meeting with a fee-based financial adviser if you’re retired or plan to retire in the next five years. They can help you determine how much cash you should have on hand and whether you have the right ratio of stocks vs. bonds.
Though retirees typically want a higher concentration of bonds than someone with a decade or more left until retirement, rebalancing after a decline in the stock market isn’t a wise move. If you’re retired and need to withdraw money — to pay for expenses or due to required minimum distributions (RMDs) — you’ll typically want to sell bond holdings instead of stocks to avoid taking substantial losses. After the stock market recovers, you can rebalance your portfolio.
- Limit Individual Stocks to 5% of Your Portfolio
Maintaining a diversified portfolio is essential to weathering a stock market crash. If you invest in stocks of individual companies, try to limit any single investment to no more than 5% of your overall portfolio.
Whenever you invest in stocks, you risk losing money just because the market is down. But the risks of investing in individual stocks are greater compared to investing in index funds that move up and down with the overall stock market. For example, there’s the risk that one industry will be hit especially hard, as occurred with tech stocks during the dot-com crash, and risks specific to a company, like poor management decisions or increased competition.
- Rethink Risky Investments
If you’ve made a lot of money in the past on risky investments like cryptocurrency or penny stocks, think very carefully before investing more. There’s nothing wrong with investing a small amount of money in a high-risk investment, provided that you have adequate savings and you don’t have high-interest debt. But these investments are way more volatile than the overall stock market, so your losses could be especially steep.
- Decide Now if You Want to Invest More
A stock market crash can be a great opportunity to invest more if you have the stomach for it. Provided that you have a solid emergency fund and you’re investing for retirement, you could set aside extra money to invest when the stock market crashes.
Because it’s natural to panic when stocks nosedive, make a plan now. For example, you could decide that you’ll invest $X extra if the S&P 500 index falls below 3,500. Or if there’s a stock you want to buy, you could decide that you’ll buy it if the price drops below a certain level.
This may seem counterintuitive to what we said about not trying to time the market. To be clear, saving money to invest when stock dips is a strategy you should use only if you’re already dollar-cost averaging by investing for retirement. But if your finances are in good shape and it fits with your risk tolerance, it’s OK to prepare for some bargain hunting next time stocks crash.
The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo. The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan. The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations. Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
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