Born on this day!! Singer Englebert Humperdinck is 87. Country singer R.C. Bannon is 78. Actor David Suchet (TV’s “Poirot”) is 77. Country singer Larry Gatlin is 75. Singer Lou Gramm of Foreigner is 73. Actor Christine Baranski is 71. Singer Angela Bofill is 69. Actor Brian Tochi (“Revenge of the Nerds,” ″Police Academy”) is 64. Actor Elizabeth Berridge (“The John Larroquette Show”) is 61. Country singer Ty Herndon is 61. Actor Mitzi Kapture (“The Young and the Restless,” “Baywatch”) is 61. TV commentator Mika Brzezinski is 56. Wrestler-actor Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) is 51. Singer Jeff Gutt of Stone Temple Pilots is 47. Actor Jenna Von Oy (“Blossom”) is 46. Actor Kumail Nanjiani (TV’s “Silicon Valley,” film’s “The Big Sick”) is 45. Actor Ellie Kemper (“Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” ″The Office”) is 43. Actor Robert Buckley (“One Tree Hill”) is 42. Actor Gaius Charles (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 40. Singer Lily Allen is 38. Guitarist Jim Almgren of Carolina Liar is 37. Actor Kay Panabaker (“No Ordinary Family,” ″Summerland”) is 33.
THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY
1885 – Good Housekeeping magazine went on sale for the first time.
1939 – Lou Gehrig established a new major-league baseball record when he played his 2,130th consecutive game. It would take another 57 years before Cal Ripken, Jr., broke it.
1945 – The Soviet Union announced the fall of Berlin.
1955 – Tennessee Williams won the Pulitzer Prize in Drama for Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
1969 – The British ocean liner Queen Elizabeth II departed on her maiden voyage to New York.
1994 – Nelson Mandela was victorious in South Africa’s first multiracial election.
1997 – The Labour Party’s Tony Blair became Prime Minister of Britain, ending 18 years of conservative rule. At 44, he was the youngest prime minister in 185 years.
2011 – U.S. troops and CIA operatives shot and killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan.
2012 – A pastel version of The Scream, by painter Edvard Munch, sold for $120 million in a New York City auction. The transaction set a new world record for an auctioned piece of art.
Today Is: Childhood Depression Awareness Day, Foster Care Day, International Harry Potter Day, Life Insurance Day, Poem on Your Pillow Day, Roberts Rule of Order Day, Scurvy Awareness Day, U.S. Capitol Police Day, World Asthma Day, World Tuna Day
TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)
CBS – 8:00 – FBI / 9:00 – FBI International / 10:00 – FBI Most Wanted
NBC – 8:00 – Night Court / 8:30 – Lopez v Lopez / 9:00 – The Wall / 10:00 – Weakest Link
ABC – 8:00 – The Rookie / 9:00 – Rookie Feds / 10:00 – Will Trent
FOX – 8:00 – 911 Lone Star / 9:00 – Accused
CW – 8:00 – Superman and Loris / 9:00 – Gotham Knights
TV Talk Shows
Jimmy Fallon: Emma Chamberlain, Arlo Parks
Seth Meyers: Rachel Weisz, Paul Giamatti, Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah, Tanner Wayne
Live with Kelly and Mark: James Marsden, Minka Kelly
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!
QUESTION: How big is the “Let’s Get It On” copyright trial for ED SHEERAN?? He says if it doesn’t go his way, he’s DONE WRITING SONGS!!! OK… that’s big!!!!
QUESTION: What was IN that symphony??? Woman has FULL BODY ORGASM during Tchaikovsky’s 5th at the LA Philharmonic!! We’ll have what she’s having!!
QUESTION: She said WHAT?? Meghan Markle did a brutal takedown of Kate and Wills’ wedding on her defunct “Tig” blog: “Not talking about Cinderella here!!!”
QUESTION: Why does the guy who invented AI compare it to the ATOMIC BOMB? And why did Stephen Hawkings say it could “end mankind?” WHO CARES, right?
QUESTION: The Vans logo means WHAT?? (After you see it, you can’t UN-see it!!) The stretched out “V” over “ans” literally means “Square Root of the Answer!!”
Aerosmith Announces “Peace Out,” Their Final Tour
See the announcement HERE.
********The opening acts will be Barbra Streisand, Cher and Elton John!! It’s called the “Let’s Go Out Together” tour!!!
******They have two new songs: “Dude Looks Like a Geezer,” and “I Can’t Walk This Way Anymore!!”
******They’ll be recruiting groupies from the extended-care facilities!!
Sylvester Stallone Is Making A Sequel To “Cliffhanger”
**********He’ll be swinging around in the Italian Alps, one of the few things on earth older than he is!!
********In the first movie, Sly played a Ranger who confronts a gang of violent criminals. In this one, he just wanders off and gets lost in the mountains!!
Adidas Shareholders File Lawsuit Over The Whole Kanye West Antisemitism Mess
**********He said a lot of stuff… but then, he said anti-Semitic stuff!! And that was it!!
*******The shareholders who are filing suit (on behalf of all shareholders) say Adidas never disclosed how wacky Kanye was, in spite of knowing!!
*****Did anyone NOT know???
******We think he was sane until he got into the Kardashian family!!
Was CBS Was Losing Lots Of Money Making The Late Late Show With James Corden??
***********One source says they were losing $20 million or so a year!! But that source was ex-CNN anchor Brian Stelter, quoting an unnamed “executive!!”
*****Meanwhile, Deadline reports that several offers were made to keep him, but he might have been facing staff and budget cuts!!
******In an interview with Stern, Howard said he heard there was a $50 million offer on the table. Corden didn’t deny it.
********CBS is now shutting down the Late Late Show, and will feature shadow puppets in that time slot!!
*****He may be heading home to Britain, but first the United Nations will have a vote to see which country has to take him!!
Prince William Will Swear Allegiance To His Dad At The Coronation
Here’s a Rundown On How and What Time to Watch The Coronation.
*******He’ll place his hands between his father’s and swear allegiance during the ceremony!!
******In a big departure from tradition, the public has also been invited to swear allegiance! In prior coronations, it was the Dukes and Earls who represented the people!!
********Afterwards, everyone says, “God save King Charles, Long live King Charles, May The King live forever.” (But of course, he won’t)
*******In another break from tradition, Charles will actually ride Camilla back to the palace!!!
*******To keep the budget under control, they’ll be serving mini-tacos from Jack in the Box!!!
TABLOID FODDER
Last Laughs-(In Touch)
“Rupert Murdoch’s engagement to Ann Lesley Smith has been called off. Apparently she got cold feet after Murdoch passed his physical.”-Michael Che.
“A baby was born in the parking lot of a Costco. Just one?! You’re at Costco. Get triplets-otherwise it’s not a deal.”-Stephen Colbert.
“Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn have broken up. Paging Pete Davidson!”-Paul Lander.
PHONE TOPIC STARTERS
Who is the GOAT in YOUR life??
Ever lose something for a long time, then find it??
Can you name a song that sounds a whole lot like another song??
STUPID NEWS
Huge Gator Removed From South Carolina Garage
*******How big?? He had four doors and a hood ornament!!!
*******Actually, he wasn’t a car, but he was exhausted!!
********They moved him to a pond. We would have moved him to Florida!!
Lost Dog In Ireland, Missing For 26 Days, Walks 40 Miles To Its Former Owners
**********He was adopted by a new family, but when they got him home, he ran!! “I don’t think so!!”
******Of course, the old family had moved, so he just found an empty house where he had lived!!
*****Wow… this IS a sad story!!!
****Being Irish, he did stop into a few pubs along the way!!
Arkansas Woman Busted For Trying To Sell Stolen Body Parts
***********She (allegedly) stole body parts from medical school cadavers and sold them for $11,000 to a guy she met on the Internet!! That’s when she got arrested!!
******She’s also accused of selling arms to China!!!
*****Cops are sure she’s a smoker… they found some butts behind her couch!!
****She also sold some brains at a discount, since they’re never used in Arkansas!!!
Florida Man Makes A Jet Ski Into a Motor Scooter
See the video HERE.
*******He looked at the jet ski and said, “I wish there was something like this that would run on land!!” No one mentioned that there were actually MOTOR SCOOTERS for sale!!
*******His project went viral, and he’s been nominated for “Florida Man of the Year, Vehicular Division!!”
STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL
VIDEO: MARK HAMILL GIVES JEDI TRAINING TO VIDEO GAME ACTORS
VIDEO: 92 YEAR OLD WINS 60 METER RACE.
VIDEO: DAD CATCHES FOUL BALL WHILE HOLDING BABY AND A BEER!
A LIST FOR TUESDAY
What’s the Best Frozen Pizza Under $10? We Tried 15 Brands & Ranked Them All
THE PENNY HOARDER
- Palermo’s Primo Thin, Five Cheese Pizza
Cost: $7.99
Rating: 0.7/5 (That’s POINT 7, not 7) • Kids 1
I’m not even sure what to say here. Calling this Palermo’s pizza bad is a disservice to bad pizzas. This was borderline inedible. I’ve eaten a lot of bad pizzas, and this one was just a sight to behold. And at $8, this is highway robbery! It looked bad, and tasted worse. The crust was thin cardboard. The cheese — mozzarella, white cheddar, provolone, Parmesan and Romano — just had no taste. The only thing that kept this pizza from a flat zero is the “zesty marinara sauce” that maybe had some salt in it to bring a hint of something to this lifeless rice cake. “It tastes like cardboard and cheese. No flavor at all.” — my kids
- Mama Cozzi’s Pizza Kitchen
Cost: $3.49
Rating: 1.0/5 • Kids 2.8
Mama Cozzi’s is the Aldi brand and, dear God, this was not good. Aldi does usually offer good food for a good price, but I’ve had bowling alley pizza that seemed like it came from a Michelin-star chef when compared to Mama Cozzi’s. It was bland, flat, lifeless, almost like it had been pressed under a steamroller. The little bit of cheese was OK, but the minimal amount of sauce was weak and just not flavorful. The crust absolutely sucked. It reminded me a little of the stale bread chips my church used to serve during the Lord’s Supper. The package says “made with real cheese” and “new recipe!” If this was the new recipe, I’d hate to try the old one. “Nope.” — my kids
- Publix Four Cheese, Rising Crust Pizza
Cost: $5
Rating: 2.0/5 • Kids 3.3
This one hurt. When it comes to grocery shopping, I’m a Publix fanboy. It’s my go-to. I’ve bought many Publix brand items and been pleased. The self-rising crust was a little fluffier than other thinner crusts, but it was just tasteless and doughy. I even cooked it to the maximum of 23 minutes at 400 degrees. The cheese to sauce ratio was good, but that was really the only thing this pizza had going for it. The box says the pizza has “mozzarella, Asiago, Parmesan and Romano cheeses with classic seasonings on a rising crust.” Whatever those “classic seasonings “ are, this pizza needs more of them. The back of the box suggests adding your own toppings to give the pizza more flavor. You’re telling on yourself here, Publix. “I like Publix’s penne pasta better than this.” — my kids
- 365 by Whole Foods Thin Crust Pizza
Cost: $5.39
Rating: 2.3/5 • Kids 3.7
Even bougie brand pizzas can suck. I’ve got to be honest — I expected more from Whole Foods. I’ve had really good products from its 365 brand. This cheese pizza is not one of them. This four-cheese pizza includes mozzarella, fontina, provolone and Parmesan, which would seem to pop. I don’t know how four cheeses could be this bland. They should call this cheese bread. That would be more accurate. The sauce was almost non-existent. The crust seemed weighed down and lifeless, like it was depressed from holding the flavorless elements of this pizza together. My kids actually liked this one, because, I guess, cheese!
“You’re being too harsh, Dad.” — my kids
- Tombstone Five Cheese Pizza
Cost: $4.40
Rating: 2.7/5 • Kids 3.1
Another five-cheese pizza that just lacks much flavor and is one of the greasiest pizzas. This Tombstone pizza features mozzarella, cheddar, Asiago, Romano and Parmesan cheese, and the box claims a “bold and zesty” sauce with “full on flavor.” That’s what we call marketing, friends. It’s more mediocre than bad. I guess you could say it’s a decent bowling alley pizza you might have with a Coors Light on Friday night. “There’s way too much red sauce, and the crust is OK.” — my kids
- Trader Joe’s Organic Three Cheese Pizza
Cost: $4.99
Rating: 3.0/5 • Kids 3.1
I’m starting to discover I’m really big on the cheese-to-sauce ratio. I’m not sure exactly what the correct balance is, but this isn’t it. Trader Joe’s cheese pizza features copious amounts of sauce. And where’s the cheese? This pizza is the polar opposite of Publix. It’s almost like they spread the sauce on the crust, sprinkled a handful of cheese and called it a day. That said, the crust is outstanding. You can truly taste the brick oven flavor. One of the best crusts. “Lots of sauce.” — my kids
- Amy’s Organic Cheese Pizza
Cost: $9.47
Rating: 3.3/5 • Kids 3.6
A higher price brings higher expectations. At $9.47, Amy’s Organic Cheese Pizza was the second most expensive — and that was after I received a $1.52 discount at Publix. Does this taste like a $10 frozen pizza? Nope. The crust had good flavor and a little fluff, even though it was super thin. It reminded me of a Pizza Hut or Jet’s style crust. (Detroit-style pizza trumps all others. Fight me.) Other than that, everything was just thin and minimalistic. Again, the box notes you can add toppings to the cheese pizza — one that uses only mozzarella. What if I just want a cheese pizza, Amy? Maybe I’m not keen on adding arugula or sliced red onions to my pizza. This is a decent pizza, but it’s just way overpriced for what you get. “Whatever.” — my kids
- Sprouts Four Cheese Pizza
Cost: $8.99
Rating: 3.5/5 • Kids 3
I wanted to hate this one because it looked very sad — even sadder than other frozen cheese pizzas, and that’s a lot of sad. It looked small and forgettable but it tasted much better than it looked. The thin crust was crispy and had flavor from the wood fire. The sauce was a little heavier than the four cheeses and had a slight sweetness with an appropriate hint of garlic. It’s really hard to dress up a frozen cheese pizza, but maybe Sprouts could try? This pizza does go to show, however, it’s not all in the looks. (That’s what my wife said when she married me, too.) This is also the first pizza I rated higher than my kids did. “I don’t really like this sauce.” — my kids
- Red Baron Classic Crust Four Cheese Pizza
Cost: $4.99
Rating: 3.7/5 • Kids 4.3
This Red Baron classic features a four-cheese combo of mozzarella, cheddar, provolone and Parmesan. The sauce-to-cheese ratio was pretty on point. What stands out is the thick crust. It’s the best textured crunch of the bunch so far, with the perfect amount of thickness to crispiness. The back of the box says the pizza is “Not too thick. Not too thin. With just the right amount of crunch.” I’d say that’s accurate marketing. “This crust is insane.” — my kids
- Digiorno Four Cheese Thin Crust Pizza
Cost: $7.34
Rating: 3.9/5 • Kids 4
The recommended 15-minute cook time was a little off. It looked a little under, so I added three minutes and that seemed about right. This Digiorno pizza had a great ratio of cheese and sauce. The mozzarella, Parmesan, Asiago and Romano were delicious, though the sauce lacked the tasty notes that some of the higher ranked pizzas have. Lastly, the crust tasted authentic with the perfect amount of crunch. Solid frozen pizza. “This one had the best cheese and sauce mixture yet.” — my kids
- California Pizza Kitchen Four Cheese Crispy Thin Crust Pizza
Cost: $8.99
Rating: 4/5 • Kids 2.8
My kids weren’t a fan of this one, but I thought it was a really good pizza. The cheese to sauce ratio was cheese heavy, but the flavors melded. I could taste the herbs in the tomato sauce, and the cheeses packed a punch as well, with two types of mozzarella, fontina and hickory-smoked gouda. No standard, boring cheese here. The crust was excellent for a thin crust. I didn’t have high expectations because I don’t recall anything memorable from the few times I’ve been to CPK restaurants. But this store offering is a good pizza. “The crust was good. The cheese overwhelmed the sauce.” — my kids
- Kroger Self-Rising Crust Four Cheese Pizza
Cost: $4.39
Rating: 4.2/5 • Kids 4.4
I didn’t see this coming, friends. Maybe it’s my own faulty perceptions, but if you told me that Kroger would rank No. 4 and Publix No. 13, I would have said no way. It has to be the opposite. It’s not. This Kroger pizza is really good. The mozzarella, Asiago, Parmesan and Romano cheeses stand out. They are balanced well by a flavorful sauce that’s not too much and not too little. The crust wasn’t as tasty, but the texture was on point and it held up to the amount of sauce on the pizza. Well done, Kroger. “This sauce is very flavorful.” — my kids
- Freschetta Brick Oven Crust Five Cheese Pizza
Cost: $6.36
Rating: 4.3/5 • Kids 3.4
To be honest, I wasn’t familiar with this brand. I was simply looking for as many different brands as I could find on the pizza aisle at Publix. Freschetta is a name with flair that gives an impression of freshness and quality. It delivered. The sauce has a touch of sweetness and a small kick. That added with an appropriate amount of herbs, which were even visible in the fresh-tasting sauce, made for an outstanding bite. The five cheeses — mozzarella, provolone, fontina, Asiago and Parmesan — were just fine, but the sauce was the standout here. The crust was also excellent for a flat crust. I was impressed by how airy this crust is despite its thinness. I’ll definitely remember Freschetta as an excellent frozen cheese pizza.
“It’s good, but not as good as you think, Dad.” — my kids
- Newman’s Own Thin and Crispy Crust Four Cheese Pizza
Cost: $8.79
Rating: 4.5/5 • Kids 4.1
Absolutely delightful. The tomato sauce was flavorful. The four cheeses — whole milk mozzarella, cheddar, Parmesan and Asiago — really popped. I could taste herbs and garlic. Nothing was overwhelming. Just a great balance in this pizza. It doesn’t look anything special, even on the box. I think that’s because really thin crust pizzas just inherently look sad. I was prepared to dislike the crust for that very reason, but I was wrong there as well. I could even see herbs in this crust. If you could pair Newman’s cheese and sauce with Amy’s crust, you may have the perfect frozen cheese pizza. Bravo, Mr. Newman. “This one hits different.” — my kids
- Home Run Inn Cheese Classic Pizza
Cost: $10.59
Rating: 4.8/5 • Kids 4.7
If heaven offers a pizzeria, Home Run Inn will be there. This is how it’s done. Yes, it is 59 cents over the $10 limit. But the price was so close, and I’ve heard so much about Home Run Inn, I just had to include it. This Home Run pizza has a weight to it. The cheese to sauce ratio is perfection, and it tastes as good as it looks. This pizza does something many of the multi-cheese pizzas couldn’t do — offer cheese with flavor. And Home Run Inn does it with just one type of cheese: whole milk mozzarella (just like Newman’s Own). Maybe it’s the quality of the mozzarella cheese, but it hits the palette like no other pizza does. One more thing about the cheese. It’s actually layered on top of the sauce instead of shredded. I love this technique. The tomato sauce is bold, flavorful and holds up the cheese. The crust, not as strong as, yet still flaky and crispy. Of the 15 frozen cheese pizzas we tried, this was one undoubtedly the best. This Home Run Inn pizza really knocked it out of the park, pun intended. I’ll be happy to take marketing royalties if you’re interested, Home Run Inn people. “Looked good. Smelled good. Tasted good. 12 out 5.” — my kids
Robert Bruce is a senior staff writer at The Penny Hoarder covering earning, saving and managing money. He has written about personal finance for more than a decade.
The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo. The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan. The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations. Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
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