Born on this day!! Actress Pat Carroll is 93. Actor Michael Murphy is 82. Actor Lance Henriksen (“Millennium,” ″Aliens”) is 80. Comedian-actor Michael Palin (Monty Python) is 77. Actor John Rhys-Davies (“Lord of the Rings,” ″Raiders of the Lost Ark”) is 76. Former MTV News correspondent Kurt Loder is 75. Drummer Bill Ward of Black Sabbath is 72. Actress Melinda Culea (“The A Team,” ″Knots Landing”) is 65. Actress Lisa Eilbacher (“An Officer and a Gentleman,” ″Beverly Hills Cop”) is 63. Actor Richard E Grant (“Gosford Park”) is 63. Singer Ian McCulloch of Echo and the Bunnymen is 61. Newsman Brian Williams is 61. TV personality Kyan Douglas (“Rachael Ray,” “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy”) is 50. Actress Tina Yothers (“Family Ties”) is 47. Singer Raheem DeVaughn is 45. Actor Vincent Kartheiser (“Mad Men”) is 41. Singer Craig David is 39. Actress Danielle Fishel (“Boy Meets World”) is 39. Actor Henry Cavill (“Man of Steel,” ″The Tudors”) is 37. Bassist Josh Smith of Halestorm is 37. Singer Adele is 32. Singer Chris Brown is 31.
THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY
1809 – Mary Kies of South Killingly, Conn., became the first woman to be granted a patent. The patent was for the rights to a technique for weaving straw with silk and thread.
1821 – Napoleon Bonaparte died on the island of St. Helena.
1891 – Carnegie Hall (then known as Music Hall) opened in New York City. Peter Tchaikovsky was the guest conductor.
1925 – John Scopes was arrested in Tennessee for teaching Darwinism.
1961 – Alan Shepard became the first American in space.
1981 – Bobby Sands of the Irish Republican Army died in a prison hospital on the 66th day of his hunger strike.
2004 – Pablo Picasso’s “Boy with a Pipe” became the most expensive painting ever sold.
Today Is: Cartoonists Day, Childhood Depression Awareness Day, Childhood Stroke Awareness Day, Cinco de Mayo, Foster Care Day, International Day of The Midwife, International Roller Derby Day, National Astronaut Day, National Teacher Day, Revenge of the Fifth, Silence The Shame Day, Totally Chipotle Day, World Asthma Day
TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)
CBS – 8:00 – NCIS / 9:00 – FBI / 10:00 – FBI Most Wanted
NBC – 8:00 – The Voice / 9:00 – Ellen’s Game Of Games / 10:00 – New Amsterdam
ABC – 8:00 – The Conners / 8:30 – Bless This Mess / 9:00 – Mixedish / 9:30 – Blackish / 10:00 – For Life
FOX – 8:00 – The Masked Singer
CW – 8:00 – The Flash / 9:00 – DC Legends Of Tomorrow
TV Talk Shows
Jimmy Fallon: Ryan Reynolds, Karlie Kloss, Ezra Koenig
Seth Meyers: Nathan Lane, Lauren Lapkus
Watch What Happens Live: Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Marie Osmond
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Christina Applegate, Jason Mraz
Ellen DeGeneres: Linda Cardellini
The Real: La La Anthony
Kelly Clarkson: A new Message From Montana, repeat segments with Keegan-Michael Key, Bebe Rexha (R 11/5/19)
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!
QUESTION: Are you ready for the NEXT BIG PANIC??? The deadly “KILLER ASIAN HORNET” is here in North America!! Wanna see it KILL A MOUSE???
QUESTION: WTF??? Now the MONKEYS are coming after us?? A small monkey rolls up on a mini-motorcycle and tries to KIDNAP A BABY!! No kidding!!
QUESTION: Who is the first star to be cast as JOE EXOTIC?? That would be NICOLAS CAGE, and it’s also his very first TV SERIES!! (More shows in the works)
QUESTION: Why were they calling Meghan Markle “princess” BEFORE she married Harry? And why does she hate having her FEET PHOTOGRAPHED??
QUESTION: How badly do YOU want to go to the club?? Badly enough to wear THIS?? It’s a “clubbing suit,” complete with virus denying SPACE HELMET!!!
Tom Hanks Gives Commencement
Tom Hanks provided kind words on Saturday when he delivered an inspiring virtual commencement speech for the Class of 2020 at Ohio’s Wright State University Department of Theatre, Dance and Motion Picture. He called them “the chosen ones.” “I am calling you ‘chosen ones’ because you have been chosen in many ways. First, by the temperament and discipline, you’ve lived by. By the creative fires that are inside of you. And the instinctive lunges of your desires,” Hanks continued. He added, “You succeeded because of the aid and the love of others that are in your lives, without a doubt. But you have succeeded mostly because you and you alone chose to do so. You are the chosen ones.” Hanks joked that the seniors started college back in the “olden times” aka a time before the coronavirus pandemic. “You will talk about your lives just that way: ‘Well, that was back before the COVID-19. That was before the great pandemic,” Hanks suggested.” “Part of your lives will forever be identified as ‘before’ in the same way other generations tell time like, ‘Well, that was before the war,’ or ‘That was before the Internet,’ or ‘That was before Beyoncé.’ The word ‘before’ is going to carry great weight with you,” he continued. See this speech HERE.
********Then he continued: “You’re the chosen ones, because you’ve been chosen to receive a special offer from Disney Home Video!! All the ‘Toy Story’ movies on Blue Ray and DVD for just $99.99!!!”
*****Come on!! Didn’t he work in his “box of chocolates” line??
*****If these kids wanna be in showbiz, they’ve wasted a lot of time and money in college!! They should be in L.A., sleeping with agents and producers!!
*****By the end of the address, most of the kids couldn’t remember life before that speech!!
Carole Baskin Speaks About Prank
Carole Baskin doesn’t appear to be mad at all about being pranked. She fell prey to British content creators Josh Pieters and Archie Manners who tricked her into believing she was being interviewed by late night host, Jimmy Fallon. “I was suspicious as we were doing it because the questions appeared taped. But had no idea it would turn out to be such a fun prank,” Baskin said in statement to CNN. “It gave us a very welcome good laugh. I appreciate their cleverness and that they created their video in a way that I don’t feel was in any way mean spirited.” They posted a video on YouTube of how they convinced Baskin into believing she was doing what she thought would be her first “live” interview since the release of the “Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness.” According to the video Baskin initially declined to chat. But she eventually agreed to talk with the understanding they would only talk about her favorite subject – big cats. Pieters and Manners used pre-recorded sound of Fallon to “interview” Baskin having explained that she would not see the host of “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” because of the at-home format being used since the pandemic.
********She laughed it off… then she had them ground up and fed to the tigers!!
*******Has Jimmy had these guys on his show?? Because he should!!
*******If they disappear, you’ll know what happened!!
Dog The Bounty Hunter Engaged
Duane ‘Dog The Bounty Hunter’ Chapman has gotten engaged to his new girlfriend Francie Frane, after they started dating earlier this year. He got down on one knee at a romantic dinner at their home in Colorado, ten months after the death of his wife, Beth, from throat cancer. He told The Sun he’s so happy he wants to have the ‘biggest wedding there’s ever been,’ open to all his fans, in what he says will be ‘one hell of a party. Francie spoke about the moment Dog got down on one knee at their home, where they are self-isolating together. She said: ‘I wasn’t expecting it at all. think I had gone to pick up some food and then when I came back he had all the lights turned down with just a few lights on and a bunch of candles lit. ‘So when I came in I was like, “Wow, this is awesome”. Then he said, “Come in, sit down because I need to talk to you”. ‘So I put all the food in the kitchen and I came in and he said, “I know that God brought you into my life and I don’t want to spend one moment of it without you”.’ Francie said Dog got down on one knee and asked her to be his wife.
******Duane is so happy, he dragged his butt across the carpet!!
*****They had a nice dinner, and later they buried a bone together!!
DJ Khaled Shuts Down Twerking Fan
DJ Khaled’s loyalty to wife Nicole Tuck was put to the test this weekend when he invited one woman to join his Instagram Live in a one-on-one chat — but she wasn’t looking to talk. “Oh s - - t, no no don’t do that,” Khaled — whose real name is Khaled Mohamed Khaled — tells the scantily clad woman as she begins twerking in front of her camera and telling him she “has to get the water.” “I got love and everything I’m saying like, I got a family and everything … talk to me normal, talk to me normal, don’t do that,” Khaled pleaded, shielding his eyes as the woman begins pouring water onto her butt. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” he said repeatedly. He then posted a recording of the clip to Instagram with a caption begging his fans to be “respectful,” of his non-single status. “I have love for everyone please take it easy when I’m on fan luv ig luv. Again I have love for everyone please lets be respectful nothing but love BLESS UP!” Khaled commented in a post, which has racked up over 4.3 million views since being posted Sunday night. “Come on woman where is your self respect,” commented supermodel Naomi Campbell. “This girl thought she was on ‘Quarantine Radio,’ ” musician Stefflon Don chimed in. See the video HERE.
********She wound up being the “butt” of many jokes!!
******He didn’t want to get “behind” in his work!!
TOPIC: Crazy stuff that women do!!! You know what we’re talkin’ about!!!
Guy Camps Out At Disney World
An Alabama man who spent several days of his COVID-19 quarantine camping on an abandoned Disney World island told Florida deputies who arrested him for trespassing that it felt like living in a “tropical paradise.” Richard McGuire, of Mobile, Alabama, said he never heard deputies on public address systems searching the private island for him on foot, by boat and by air because he was asleep in a dilapidated building. The Walt Disney World resort remains closed until further notice amid the coronavirus pandemic. Deputies found McGuire on Walt Disney World’s Discovery Island on Thursday, April 30. McGuire said he had been on the former exotic zoological island for two to three days and planned to camp there for a week, according to an arrest report. He didn’t realize the island was a restricted area despite numerous “no trespassing” signs posted around the perimeter, according to the arrest report. McGuire told deputies the island “looked like a tropical paradise,” according to the report. A Disney security officer reported seeing McGuire using a Disney boat on Bay Lake, which surrounds the island. Disney employees were helping McGuire navigate a small boat to shore when deputies arrived, according to the report. McGuire was arrested without incident on a trespassing charge and taken to jail, according to the report.
********He’ll be incarcerated in “Disney Jail,” which means he’ll have to be f-ing Goofy before he’s released!!
******It wasn’t a real island… it was a “Disney Island!!”
******At night, Mickey prowls around, hunting humans!!
JLo Showed Shakira How To “Shake It”
Jennifer Lopez took to her Instagram to share some never-before-seen rehearsal footage from the 2020 Super Bowl earlier this year. In the videos, she could be seen rehearsing her part of the Super Bowl halftime show and in another video, she’s seen giving Shakira a quick booty shaking tutorial. She can be heard giving Shakira her best tips for shaking her booty perfectly. “I do it with my knees, I shake my knees,” Lopez explained. Then she tells Shakira jokingly, “My mom taught me that when I was 4.” Lopez captioned her post, “I can’t believe it’s already been 3 months since the #SuperBowlLIV #HalftimeShow. So much has happened since then, but I wanted to share a fun peek behind the scenes at our first rehearsal with the dancers and @Shakira.” See the video HERE.
******It’s hard to believe Shakira got to where she is today without knowing how to shake her ass!!
******J Lo must know what she’s doing! She’s eaten more men than a salt-water crocodile!!
******We’d like to teach Shakira how to shake it!! It might take a while: “Nope!! Not quite! Do it again!”
Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)
**Please Credit Publication!
Batman Rob Swooping Suki Off to the Altar!-(National Enquirer)
Batman rookie Robert Pattinson’s first mission will be to race to the altar with his sexy sidekick, Suki Waterhouse! “Suki wants to be Mrs. Rob Pattinson and he’s totally on board!” an insider says. “They’ve been unofficially engaged for a while-and now they want to become a married couple!” The 33-year-old actor was humiliated when “Twilight” co-star Kristen Stewart cheated on him with director Rupert Sanders in 2012. He met the fellow Brit, model turned actress Suki, 28, after splitting from his former fiancée, singer FKA Twigs. Sources said Suki’s thrilled to be with Rob after failed romances with A-list hunks, including Bradley Cooper and James Marsden. “Rob adores Suki and trusts her implicitly, and the feeling’s mutual. Seeing the world through his eyes has been a positive jolt in Suki’s life, and she’s the happiest she’s been in a long time,” spies said.
Naomi Is Kaftan-Crazy!-(Globe)
Supermodel Naomi Campbell has top designers at her beck and call, but she prefers slipping into something more collectible in the evening-like Elizabeth Taylor’s old kaftans! “I’m in the most practical clothes I could ever wear….it’s workout clothes, and the shoes are sneakers and slippers,” reveals the 49-year-old fashion plate. “Then at night, to give a little change, I wear kaftans,” she says, adding: “I’ve got some really great ones. I’ve got some I bought from Elizabeth Taylor’s auctions, so I have some of hers.” Of course you do, dahling!
Katherine & Chris: Baby On Board-(Us Weekly)
Katherine Schwarzenegger and her husband, Chris Pratt, have a lot to be happy about in 2020. Nearly a year after exchanging vows in June, the pair are expecting their first child, a source confirms. (The actor is already a dad to son Jack, 7, with ex-wife Anna Faris.) Katherine says, she and her husband are a united team and “want to make sure that team is a strong one.” A strong one, plus one! Congratulations to the happy couple!
More Celeb Backstage Rituals-(Star)
Celine Dion-
Devastated by the loss of her husband, Rene Angelil, in 2016, Celine, 52, has found a way to still spend a moment with him before each show. “I shake my husband’s hand”-she has a bronze replica of it in her dressing room-“and I talk to him,” she’s said. She also has a special seat reserved for him at her concerts.
Throwback! Heidi Klum-(Life & Style)
Heidi knows a thing or two about making the cut. The German stunner was just 18 years old when she beat out 25,000 contestants in a national modeling contest, landing a contract with a top modeling agency in NYC and finding fame as a Victoria’s Secret Angel!
Chatter-(People)
“He just told me that he’d rather see the [Boston] Red Soc win than the Yankees win. Like what?! I said I was just going to ignore that.”-Scarlett Johansson, on clashing with fiancé Colin Jost over their favorite baseball teams.
“I’m never going to say never.”-Cameron Diaz, on returning to acting.
“We will be giving [blood] now to the places that hope to work on what I would like to call the Hank-ccine.”-Tom Hanks, on donating after surviving COVID-19.
Winner of the Week-(In Touch)
One Direction Fans
-Four years after their split, Liam Payne hints at a reunion for the band’s upcoming 10th anniversary.
STUPID NEWS
You Can Video Chat With Eels
An aquarium in Japan is asking members of the public to video chat with its eels to keep the animals accustomed to humans during the coronavirus lockdown. The Sumida Aquarium in Tokyo, which is home to about 300 spotted garden eels, said the ocean creatures had grown accustomed to the presence of humans peering into their tanks, but since the aquarium closed March 1 due to the COVID-19 pandemic the eels have started to become more skittish. “It seems like the spotted garden eels are getting used to a non-human environment and have forgotten about people. When the staff pass in front of them, they start hiding in the sand,” the aquarium said in a statement on its website. The facility announced it is holding a “face-showing festival” May 3-5 for members of the public to use FaceTime on Apple devices to video conference with the eels on screens set up around the tanks. The announcement said the eels will be able to see the callers, and the callers will hopefully be able to see the eels.
*****We talked to an eel one time… it was electric!!
******It seems like animals and fish in zoos and aquariums actually LIKE having people around! Who knew??
******If this goes on too long, they’ll have to “reinvent the eel!!”
Pilot Spells Out Anti Covid-19 Slogan
A Maryland pilot expressed frustration with the coronavirus pandemic by using a 194-mile flight path to spell out “[expletive] COVID-19.” The profane message, which can be seen on aviation tracking websites flightradar24.com and flightaware.com, took about two hours to spell out during the Tuesday afternoon flight over the Aberdeen area. The Piper PA-28 Cherokee aircraft took off from Harford County Airport at 4:02 p.m. and landed at the same airport at 5:51 p.m. The plane is registered to Dean Hines of Baltimore County, and was piloted Tuesday by his son, Greggor Hines, 19. “We’d just got a new compass in the airplane, and I just had to check it out somehow,” Hines told The Washingtonian.
*******Of course, the press immediately called Dr. Fauci for comment!! He said, “I agree!!”
*******Can you get the virus from flying?? Because it seems like there is no safe place!!
*****This virus has really gone viral!!
Chicken Poop Closes Park
Officials in a Swedish city said they are dumping more than a ton of chicken poop on a popular park to deter revelers from gathering to celebrate a popular holiday. The city of Lund, which annually draws crowds numbering in the tens of thousands to celebrate Walpurgis Night in its central park, said chicken manure is being spread across the park to prevent revelers from gathering to celebrate the Thursday night holiday amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Walpurgis Night, a spring festival that has roots in ancient pagan tradition, is celebrated annually on the last night of April. Gustav Lundblad, chairman of the Lund council’s environmental committee, said the chicken poop serves multiple purposes. “We get the opportunity to fertilize the lawns, and at the same time it will stink and so it may not be so nice to sit and drink beer in the park,” Lundblad told the Sydsvenskan newspaper.
*******That’s a chicken-sh*t move, if you ask us!!
******We love Walpurgis Night!!! “Wally Claus” comes and leaves gifts under the Walpurgis Tree!!
Rock Paper Scissors Lawsuit
A man who bet big in a best-of-three game of rock, paper, scissors has been saved from his debts by the Quebec Court of Appeal. Edmund Mark Hooper owed $517,000 after losing to Michel Primeau in January 2011 and was forced to remortgage his home to meet the costs, but the court has now written off his debts. According to Quebec law, any contract for a bet requires the wager to be based on an activity “requiring only skill or bodily exertion on the part of the parties” and not simply chance. Furthermore, the bet must not be for an excessive amount. So, the court of appeal had to decide whether rock paper scissors was a game of luck or skill. The original 2017 judgement by Justice Chantal Chatelain ruled that rock paper scissors could ”in certain precise circumstances, call upon the skill of the parties, particularly in the speed of execution, the sense of observation or the putting in place of a strategic sequence”. But Justice Chatelain ruled that the size of the bet was too excessive, finding the contract was therefore invalid.
*******Things must be pretty slow in the Canadian courts if this case made it!!
*****Anyone who bets $500,000 on rock, paper, scissors should be given free psychiatric care!! And a brain!
STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL
VIDEO: CRAZY NASHVILLE STORM TRAPS CONSTRUCTION WORKERS.
VIDEO: MONKEY TRIES TO KIDNAP CHILD!
A LIST FOR TUESDAY
Six foods that you can safely use past their “sell by” or “use by” dates
Huffington Post
Dried Pasta
Cooking up that linguine or penne after the indicated day won’t put you in any danger. The dates refer to a company’s good-faith guarantee rather than to any science-based safety concerns.
“For some dry goods, the ‘best by’ date can be a bit artificial and [is] more an indication of how long a company will stand behind the product. A good example is dried pasta,” said Scott Riefler, chief science officer at SoRSE Technology.
Canned Goods
Like dried pasta, canned goods undergo preparation and packaging processes focused on keeping them shelf-stable for long periods of time. “Canned goods, as long as the can itself is in good condition and air has not leaked in, can be safe after their suggested ‘best if used by’ date,” said Elis Owens, director of technical services at the food safety consulting firm Birko.
Dry Baking Ingredients
Dry goods for baking, such as flour and sugar, don’t present safety concerns if eaten past their marked dates. A quick visual inspection will let you know whether you should toss out the bag or use it in your sourdough or cake batter.
“Just like dry processed foods (like oats, grains, and pasta), dry baking ingredients have little or no moisture, so they’re less vulnerable to bacterial growth. Just don’t eat any dry ingredients that have an unnatural smell or signs of a pest infestation,” said food scientist Janilyn Hutchings of StateFoodSafety.
But leavening agents such as baking powder or baking soda will lose their effectiveness after their dates have expired.
Eggs
You may assume that you can never use dairy products or eggs after their expiration dates, since they’re more prone to spoiling than shelf-stable groceries. That’s not necessarily so.
“Most eggs [in the United States] are processed with mineral oil, since the shells are porous,”food safety consultant Steven Chevalier of CloudBreak Advisory told HuffPost. “This helps to seal the shell and helps to keep out bacteria. If kept refrigerated at 41 F or below, eggs may last up to three weeks past their expiration date. However, if they have been washed or cooked (removing the mineral oil), they will only last about a week.”
Eggs are usually packed one to two days after a hen lays them, so you can determine on which date the eggs were packed by looking at the U.S. Department of Agriculture grade shield, Chevalier added. “It will have a three-digit number representing the consecutive day of the year, with Jan. 1 having a code of 001 and Dec. 31 with a code of 365.” The department advises that “sell by” dates cannot exceed 45 days past the pack date for quality purposes, he said.
Milk
OK, so you have a couple of weeks of leeway with eggs. But you need to follow the dates on milk cartons, right? Not so, Chevalier said: “If stored correctly (under 41 F), milk can last up to a week after the expiration date.”
Still, Chevalier recommends abiding by expiration dates when possible. “There are other factors that play into milk’s longevity: whether the milk has been stored correctly during transport, sale and by the consumer, what type of processing method was used to make it, the fat content, the exposure to light and heat, and so on,” he said. It’s always best to use your senses — give it a sniff! — to determine if you can continue using it past the expiration date.
Ground Beef
In certain instances, ground beef doesn’t have a “sell by” or “best by” date on its packaging. Instead, it will have a “freeze by” date, which some shoppers mistake for an expiration date.
Owens urges shoppers to take the “freeze by” dates at face value. “A fresh pack of ground beef may have a 14-day shelf life, with an expiration date expressed as a ‘freeze by’ date. If you freeze it constantly at zero degrees Fahrenheit or lower, the food will stay safe due to the inactivity of microbes present in food. When food is frozen, it slows molecule movement and causes microbes, such as bacteria, mold or yeast, to enter a dormant stage, which prevents the growth of microorganisms that cause food spoilage or illness.”
The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo. The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan. The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations. Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
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