Born on this day!! Musician Herbie Hancock is 83. Musician John Kay of Steppenwolf is 79. Actor Ed O’Neill (“Modern Family,” ″Married…With Children”) is 77. Actor Dan Lauria (“The Wonder Years”) is 76. Talk show host David Letterman is 76. Singer J.D. Nicholas of The Commodores is 71. Singer Pat Travers is 69. Actor Andy Garcia is 67. Country singer Vince Gill is 66. TV personality J Alexander (“America’s Next Top Model”) is 65. Guitarist Will Sergeant of Echo and the Bunnymen is 65. Singer Art Alexakis of Everclear is 61. Singer Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls is 59. Actor Alicia Coppola (TV’s “Jericho,” film’s “National Treasure: Book of Secrets”) is 55. Singer Nicholas Hexum of 311 (three-eleven) is 53. Actor Retta (“Good Girls,” ″Parks and Recreation”) is 53. Actor Nicholas Brendon (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) is 52. Actor Shannen Doherty is 52. Actor Marley Shelton (“Pleasantville”) is 49. Actor Sarah Jane Morris (“NCIS”) is 46. Bassist Guy Berryman of Coldplay is 45. Actor Riley Smith (“Nashville”) is 45. Actor Claire Danes is 44. Actor Jennifer Morrison (“Once Upon a Time,” ″House”) is 44. Actor Matt McGorry (“How To Get Away With Murder,” ″Orange Is the New Black”) is 37. Actor Brooklyn Decker (“Grace and Frankie”) is 36. Drummer Joe Rickard of Red is 36. Singer-guitarist Brendon Urie of Panic At The Disco is 36. Actor Saoirse Ronan is 29.
THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY
1861 – The Civil War began when Fort Sumter was attacked.
1862 – James J. Andrews led the raiding party that stole the Confederate locomotive “The General,” inspiring the 1926 Buster Keaton movie.
1945 – President Franklin Roosevelt died.
1955 – The polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk was called “safe, effective, and potent.”
1961 – Soviet cosmonaut Yuri A. Gagarin became the first human in space and also the first human to orbit the earth in a spacecraft.
1981 – The first space shuttle, Columbia, took its first test flight.
1983 – Harold Washington was elected Chicago’s first African-American mayor.
1999 – Arkansas federal judge Susan Webber Wright found President Clinton in contempt of court for lying about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
Today Is: Belmont-Paul Women’s Equality Monument Day, Big Wind Day, International Day of Human Space Flight, International Day for Street Children, National D.E.A.R. Day (Drop Everything And Read), National For Twelves Day, National Licorice Day, National Only Child Day, National Spring Signing Day, RAINN Day (Rape Abuse Incest National Network), Walk on Your Wild Side Day
TODAY ON TV!
Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)
CBS – 8:00 – Survivor / 9:00 – FBI / 10:00 – True Lies
NBC – 8:00 – Chicago Med / 9:00 – Chicago Fire / 10:00 – Chicago PD
ABC – 8:00 – The Conners / 8:30 – The Goldbergs / 9:00 – Abbott Elementary / 9:30 – Not Dead Yet / 10:00 – A Million Little Things
FOX – 8:00 – The Masked Singer / 9:00 – Farmer Wants A Wife
CW – 8:00 – The Flash / 9:00 – Riverdale
TV Talk Shows
Jimmy Kimmel: Quinta Brunson, Metallica
Stephen Colbert: Steven Yeun, Joan Baez
Watch What Happens Live: Gillian Jacobs, Lala Kent
Daily Show: Pre-empted
Live with Kelly and Ryan: Derek Luke, Chrissy Metz, Michael Symon
Jennifer Hudson: Tisha Campbell
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT? Here are today’s PPM-Friendly Topics!
QUESTION: Ever notice some people always see the BRIGHT SIDE?? Now that Taylor Swift is SINGLE, Nick Cannon is willing to have his 13th KID with her!! “I’m all in!!!!”
QUESTION: Is this the MIRACLE OF THE YEAR?? Woman is missing two days, cops find her car submerged, drag it out of a lake, and she’s STILL ALIVE!!!!! Holy cow!!!
QUESTION: Why was Drew Barrymore “SEXUALLY CONFUSED” as a teen?? Because: “My MOM kept dating my BOYFRIENDS!!” Did it ever happen to YOU????????
QUESTION: How is this intrepid Bloomberg reporter FIGHTING CRIME? He’s roaming around reporting EXPIRED LICENSE PLATES!! And then… he got RIPPED online!!!
QUESTION: Is this “Final Jeopardy” clue the EASIEST EVER??? “In 1966, the year of his death, he shared plans for an experimental prototype community in Florida”
OTHER CELEBRITY NEWS
Jeremy Renner Confirms His Eye Popped Out Of His Socket in Snowplow Accident!
********It had also happened prior to that.. when he saw Scarlett Johansson in her Black Widow outfit!!
****The EMT told him, “Keep an eye out for me!!”
*****He asked the doctor to implant it in the back of his head so he can see people sneaking up on him!!
Cardi B Calls Out The Dalai Lama Over Tongue Sucking.. “The world is full of predators!”
*********Then she took her kids to a Drag Queen Story Hour!!
*****Actually, he’s starting the “Dalai Lama Story Hour!!!”
*****While we’re talking predators, let’s remember that she used to drug her customers at strip clubs and rob them when they passed out!! But.. “that’s different!!”
CLASSIC JOKE: So the Dalai Lama goes up to a hot dog stand and says, “Make me one with everything!”
Millie Bobby Brown Is Engaged To Jon Bon Jovi’s Son
*****Jake definitely hit the “Gene Pool Jackpot!!!”
*******He also hit the “Fiancee Jackpot!!”
*****We thought she might marry Tom Cruise, so she could be “wife eleven!!!”
Jack Black’s “Bowser” Song In The New Mario Movie Is Eligible for an OSCAR!!
The song is called “Peaches!” See and Hear it HERE.
******We really wanna see him do this on next year’s Oscars!!
The Late Queen Wanted Prince William To Fight In Afghanistan; the army wouldn’t let him!! “Too dangerous for the future king!!
*********She said, “He took my shilling, and he must fight!!” (true)
****He looked at her said, “Granny, I didn’t even want your shilling, whatever that means!!!”
******She said, “Then why don’t you shove it up your butt??” (They used to go on like that)
*****They DID allow Harry to fight in Afghanistan, which made him think, “Hey, wait a minute…”
TABLOID FODDER!! (Please give credit)
Last Laughs-(In Touch)
“The makers of Hidden Valley Ranch collaborated with ice cream company Van Leeuwen to offer a Hidden Valley Ranch ice cream. It’s what people in the Midwest are calling a salad.”-Seth Meyers.
“For the first time, Amazon’s self-driving car transported passengers on public roads. Unfortunately, after the car dropped one guy off on his doorstep, someone ran up and stole him.”-Jimmy Fallon.
“NYC launched its curbside composting program-or, as rats are calling,
Restaurant Week.”-Seth Meyers.
STUPID NEWS
Florida Woman’s Pet Chihuahua Named Shortest Living Dog at 3.39 Inches Tall
********If it’s a real Chihuahua, it’s probably willing to take on a Rottweiler!! They’re stupid like that!!
******The shortest dog EVER was a Yorkshire terrier at 2.8 inches! (true)
*******The dog’s name is Pearl and she refused to wear lifts on her paws!!
“P7” License Plate In The UAE Actioned Off For $15 Million; Also “AA19,” “Q71,” and “Q22222”
******It was a charity auction!! (duh)
********How much did they get for “IAMRCH?”
TOPIC: See any good vanity plates lately???
Female Bank Robber, 78, Hands Out “Apology” Note During Robbery
********She handed the teller a note that said, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you!” (true)
*****It’s the third time she got arrested for robbing a bank.. so she’s not getting any better at it!!
*******She might not be cut out for a life of crime!!!
Florida Man Emergency Room Nurse Is Drunk At A Disney Park, Threatens Deputies
*********He was drunk at Disney Springs, which, if you’ve ever been there, makes perfect sense!!
********He’s lucky they were sheriff’s deputies!! The Disney cops have a license to kill!!
********He was cursing in front of children, but doesn’t Donald Duck do that?? At least we think so!!
STUFF THAT’S COOL AND VIRAL
VIDEO: OLD COUPLE CAUGHT DANCING IN THE STREET.
A LIST FOR WEDNESDAY
Make up to $180,000 a Year Selling Your Poop (If You’re Not Grossed Out)
The Penny Hoarder
Where to Sell Your Poop
While everybody poops, not everyone is eligible to be a donor. Each company has health and geographical requirements.
GoodNature
GoodNature’s stool donation program is used to study poop for potential C. diff treatments. The organization has locations in Irving, California; Cambridge, Massachusetts; and Tempe, Arizona. Potential donors must be 18-50 years old, at a normal weight, nonsmokers and with no history of gastrointestinal disease or drug or alcohol abuse. You must also be able to donate three to four times per week. You’ll be paid $25-$75 per visit and can earn as much as $1,500 per month. You can also receive bonuses if you donate three to seven days weekly for an extended period.
HumanMicrobes
HumanMicrobes donors can be anywhere in the country where dry ice is sold, but the requirements for donation are stricter than other organizations. The stool is given to recipients for transplantation rather than studied. Donors must be in “exceptional physical and mental health” and ideally under 30. Donors should also have a specific Bristol stool type and minimal antibiotic use. You’ll earn $500 per donation. You can also ask for more if the recipients want the poop to be encapsulated or mixed with an antifreeze solution. The costs of any materials or equipment, dry ice and shipping will be paid for by HumanMicrobes or the stool recipient.
How to Sell Your Poop
Don’t rush to the bathroom just yet. You’ll need to go through an application process to determine your eligibility. Different organizations have different requirements. Here’s how to get started.
- Fill Out an Application
To get paid to poop, you’ll need to fill out an online application. It’s the first step for both companies. Prepare to get personal with these applications. Questionnaires delve into everything from your weight and physical activity to bowel movements and other health history.
- HumanMicrobe’s questionnaire covers topics like your weight, physical activity, bowel movements and other health history.
- GoodNature’s survey asks for basic information like location, weight and medical history.
If your application is approved, you’ll be contacted by your chosen organization for further information.
- See if You Qualify
You’ll also be asked to do health screenings. For example, GoodNature has its donors do a medical screening every two to six weeks.
- Submit Your Sample
Once you’ve completed the screening process, get ready to poop. If you donate through HumanMicrobe, you’ll collect the poop yourself. The stool needs to be placed directly in a zip-close bag, then shipped on dry ice (unless you’re delivering to a local recipient). You can freeze multiple samples and ship them together.
Hopefully you’re not a nervous pooper. At GoodNature, you’ll donate at its respective locations multiple days per week.
The preceding material was compiled and edited by Brandon Castillo. The Editor-In-Chief is Gary Bryan. The Radio Genius Show Prep Service is licensed for use on-air only by subscribing radio stations. Other means of redistribution is forbidden.
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